Jingo

worrying.
    In the darkness 71-hour Ahmed reached over his shoulder and grasped the handle of his sword.
    Above him, the mainsail creaked in the wind.

    Sergeant Colon knew he was facing one of the most dangerous moments in his career.
    There was nothing for it. He was out of options.
    “Er…if I add this A and this O and this I and this D,” he said, the sweat pouring down his pink cheeks, “then I can use that V to make ‘avoid.’ Er…and that gets me, er, a…what d’you call these blue squares, Len?”
    “A ‘Three Times Ye Value of Thee Letter’ score,” said Leonard of Quirm.
    “Well done, sergeant,” said Lord Vetinari. “I do believe that puts you in the lead.”
    “Er…I do believe it does, sir,” squeaked Sergeant Colon.
    “ However , I find that you have left me the use of my U, N and A, B, L, E,” the Patrician went on, “which incidentally lands me on this Three Times the Whole Worde square and, I rather suspect, wins me the game.”
    Sergeant Colon sagged with relief.
    “A capital game, Leonard,” said Vetinari. “What did you say it was called?”
    “I call it the ‘Make Words With Letters That Have All Been Mixed Up Game,’ my lord.”
    “Ah. Yes. Obviously. Well done.”
    “Huh, an’ I got three points,” mumbled Nobby. “They was perfectly good words that you wouldn’t let me have, too.”
    “I’m sure the gentlemen don’t want to know those words,” said Colon severely.
    “I’d have got ten points for that X.”
    Leonard looked up. “Strange. We seem to have stopped moving…”
    He reached up and opened the hatch. Damp night air poured in, and there was the sound of voices, quite close, echoing loudly as voices do when heard across water.
    “Heathen Klatchian talk,” said Colon. “What are they gabblin’ about?”
    “‘What nephew of a camel cut the rigging?’” said Lord Vetinari, without looking up. “‘Not just the ropes, look at this sail—Here, give me a hand…’”
    “I didn’t know you spoke Klatchian, my lord.”
    “Not a word,” said Lord Vetinari.
    “But you—”
    “I did not,” said Vetinari calmly.
    “Ah…right…”
    “Where are we, Leonard?”
    “Well, er, my star charts are all out of date, of course, but if you would care to wait until the sun rises, and I’ve invented a device for ascertaining position by reference to the sun, and devised a satisfactorily accurate watch—”
    “Where are we now , Leonard?”
    “Er…in the middle of the Circle Sea, I suspect.”
    “The middle?”
    “Pretty close, I should say. Look, if I can measure the wind speed—”
    “Then Leshp should be in this vicinity?”
    “Oh, yes, I should—”
    “Good. Unhitch us from this apparently stricken ship while we still have the cover of darkness and in the morning I wish to see this troublesome land. In the meantime, I suggest that everyone gets some sleep.”
    Sergeant Colon did not get a lot of sleep. This was partly because he was woken up several times by sawing and banging coming from the front of the Boat, and partly because water kept dripping on his head, but mainly because the lull in activity was causing him to consider his position.
    Sometimes when he woke up he saw the Patrician hunched over Leonard’s drawings, a gaunt silhouette in the light of the candle—reading, making notes…
    He was in the immediate company of a man even the Assassins’ Guild was frightened of, another man who would stay up all night in order to invent an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning, and a man who had never knowingly changed his underwear.
    And he was at sea.
    He tried to look on the bright side. What was the main reason why he hated boats? The fact that they sank, right? But this one had the sinking built in right from the start. And you didn’t have to watch the waves going up and down , because they were already above you.
    All this was logical. It just wasn’t very comforting.
    When he awoke at one point there were faint voices coming from the other end of the vessel.
    “— don’t quite understand, my lord. Why them?”
    “ They do what they’re told, they tend to believe the last thing they heard, they’re not bright enough to ask questions, and they have that certain unshakeable loyalty available to those unencumbered by too much intelligence .”
    “ I suppose so, my lord .”
    “ Such men are valuable, believe me .”
    Sergeant Colon turned over and tried to make himself comfortable. Glad I’m not like those poor