Juliet Immortal

yours …”
    “But Romeo said the specters were creations of the universe, sent because we’ve disturbed the natural order, unbalanced some cosmic equation.”
    “He forgets that there are universes of our creation,” she says. “Where balance or imbalance is of our own making. But neither the universe within nor the universe without tolerates imbalance. He’s right about that.”
    I shiver. Another truth sprung from the mouth of the boy I hate.
Hate
. Is that why the specter urged me to love? Is there still a chance I can change my fate? “Can anything be done? If I try to forgive him, to … love him?”
    “Perhaps … but love and forgiveness have never been your strengths, Juliet.” She smooths a bit of hair from my face, as if that soft touch can take the sting from her words. “I don’t know what the future holds for you. I’ve only seen this happen once. The young man embraced his specter and vanished. Afterward, we searched the mist, but his soul was beyond our reach. If you touch the specter, or let her touch you … 
When
she touches you, there will be nothing anyone can do.”
    I back away, suddenly suspicious of her confidence. “Romeo said we could reclaim those bodies. With a spell.”
    “You could.” One eyebrow lifts. “But would you want to live in that damaged body until the end of time? With Romeo forever by your side? That is what that particular magic entails.”
    I shake my head, sickened by how close I came to tying myself to the man I hate.
Hate
. There it is again. I do hate. Nurse is right. But I also love. I do. I’ve cared for the people I’ve helped through the ages, and now …
    Ben’s face drifts through my mind. His kind eyes, his lips whispering against my skin, promising everything will be all right. My eyes slide closed and pain shoots through my body, squeezing everything inside me in a vice of longing and regret. Ben is the antithesis of hate, but Ben is … impossible.
    “What about Ben?” I ask, though a part of me already knows the answer. “I love him.”
    “You do.”
    I open my eyes and find the hint of a smile on her lips.
    “Is it as wonderful as you remembered?”
    “It’s better.
He’s
better.” I search her face. “But how could this happen? I thought soul mates were rare. I thought each soul had one perfect match and—”
    “Love is not an isolated incident, Juliet. Love is everywhere. It always has been. You just have to choose to see the light in the darkness, the sun shining through the rain.”
    The rain that has been falling without ceasing, that creeps in through the roof and drips onto the tile all around us. My jaw clenches. Sometimes there is no sun. Sometimes there is no light.
    “Ariel is coming back.” I keep my eyes on Nurse, somestupid thing inside of me still searching for a reason to hold on. “She’ll be coming back into this body.”
    “She will. And she’ll be transformed by the love you’ve given her. It’s a good thing you’ve done, and if I could reward you for that and all the rest, I most certainly would. There are so many gifts I wish I could give you.”
    I suck in a breath and hold it, afraid I’ll scream if I let it out. This is it, then. There is no hope. I’ve been deemed unworthy of Nurse’s gifts, and Ben will be Ariel’s. And she will be transformed by love and they will be happy. I try to be happy for them, to see that goodness as the spark in the darkness, but there is no room in my heart for anything but pain.
    Maybe Nurse is right. Maybe I’m not good enough to be an Ambassador. Haven’t I always suspected? Haven’t I always known?
    My heart beats faster. “Can’t I keep trying? I haven’t failed completely, I’ve done my—”
    “You’ve been a loving servant, but we won’t ask you to renew your vows. It would be unfair to you.”
    “Fair.” I laugh, but it comes out sounding more like a sob. When has life or death ever been fair? “So … where will I go? Back to the mist? Forever?”
    “I’m sorry,” Nurse whispers. “But you could still find your way. Don’t lose your faith.”
    Too late. It’s already lost. If I ever had it. The only thing I have faith in is Ben.
    “I need to make sure Ben’s okay. How do I make sure he’s safe before I go?”
    “I told you the day you became one of us. Hold love highest in your heart and all good things will follow.”
    I fight to keep my frustration in check. “Can you get more specific? Please?”
    “That