Juliet Immortal

isn’t our way.”
    “Why?”
    “We believe the only real truth is a truth discovered. Not told. But I will give you this. To help.” She reaches for me, twining her fingers through mine. The second our palms connect, images flash behind my eyes. It’s like the magic of those first few moments in a new body, when the particulars of a life come pouring in to fill up the empty places in my mind. But this time it’s
my
life I see.
    Or rather, my death. Through Nurse’s eyes.
    A trembling girl with blue lips, eyes rolling back in her head, half mad with thirst and the terror of being locked in the dark. The friar has his hands on her, pulling her out of the tomb. Nurse wants to go to her, but she can’t. It would be suicide. She can only watch. And wait for the chance she hopes will come
.
    The girl is screaming, knocking away the flask of water at her lips. She’s seen him, the boy lying so still on the floor. The friar tells her that her husband took his own life so that he might join her in the afterlife
.
    “Why didn’t you call out?” the friar asks. “Why didn’t you let him know you lived?”
    The girl is mad with grief, weeping despite the fact that her body can produce no tears. Three days in the tomb. Three days with no water. It’s no wonder she lost the strength to scream, but she finds new strength now. She reaches for the dagger in the boy’s belt and drives it into her own heart
.
    Nurse presses her hands to her mouth, stifling her cry. The friar watches, a smile on his face, pleased with his deception, even more pleased when the boy rises and kneels by the girl’s dying body
.
    “Juliet!” His hands cup her pale cheeks. “I didn’t think she— I-I’ve changed my mind. Bring her back. Bring her back!”
    The girl reaches for his face, running trembling fingers over his lips. Then she reaches for the knife. But she’s too weak to pull it from her chest. Her hands fall away. The boy clutches her body to him, weeping, but the friar pulls him away as the girl grows still on the floor
.
    Nurse creeps from the darkness. She’s nearly too late. The girl will be dead soon. There isn’t time to tell the old stories, and she wouldn’t even if she could. She’s lived for thousands of years, sworn hundreds of souls into the service of the light. It’s always better if they don’t know some things, if they come to the real truths on their own
.
    The girl repeats the vows, and Nurse watches her go to the mists of forgetting, wondering how long it will take for her to find her way to freedom, to understand the gift she’s been given
.
    My fingers slip from hers, severing our connection. Somewhere deep inside me, where all the knotted pieces of my past tangle together, I find the thread she’s put in my hand. It feels familiar, true, despite the fact that I’ve spent every conscious day since my death denying what I did.
    Romeo didn’t kill me after all.
I killed myself
, just as the story said. I did this to myself. I’m not a victim; I’m a fool and as much of a liar as Nurse ever was.
    “Why?” I stumble away, until the backs of my knees hit the toilet. I collapse onto the seat, shaking too hard to bother trying to stand. “Why didn’t I remember?”
    “You didn’t want to remember,” Nurse says. “But now you do. Use this gift, and find your way.”
    A gift. It doesn’t feel like a gift. It feels like a curse, one last parting bit of misery. One more burden to carry. Speaking of burdens …
    “What can I do for Gemma and Mike? To make sure they’re safe before …”
    “Gemma’s relationship with Dylan did some damage, but Mike is closer to a commitment than you think. He and Gemma have similar demons, scars on their hearts that can only be mended by love. Gemma plans to tell Mike that she loves him tonight. That may be all it takes. Mike’s aura could burn red by morning.”
    “And if it does … then Romeo and I …”
    “You will remain in Ariel’s body until the soul specter claims you. Maybe a day, maybe two. And as for Romeo …” She shrugs. “His fate is in his hands. If he chooses to renew his vows, he’ll remain a Mercenary.”
    “Then let me renew my vows too. I can still fight him. I can keep going. I can—”
    She stops me with a hand in the air. “It has been decided.” It’s the second time I’ve heard those words today. They don’t sit any better this time around, but I don’t say a word as she turns to slip the latch on the door.