Just Remember to Breathe (Thompson Sisters)

then after they stabilized me, they moved me to Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington.”
    “And your friends?”
    I grimaced. “I basically had two friends in the Army. Sherman was in the humvee behind us. Got out without a scratch. He’s still over there in the boonies. And… well, Roberts didn’t make it.”
    Her eyes dropped to the table, and she said, “I’m sorry.”
    I shrugged, trying to look casual, knowing that it was a lie as I said the next words.
    “It happens, Alex. People die. Roberts wouldn’t want me to spend my life all screwed up over what happened, any more than I would if our positions were reversed. He’s up there somewhere right now urging me to go get drunk and get laid, probably.”
    She chuckled. “And are you following his advice?”
    “Not yet,” I said, “But there’s always tomorrow.”
    Not the smartest thing to say, I guess. Her gaze slipped away from me, out to the street. Finally, very slowly, she asked, “Why didn’t you contact me? After you were injured?”
    I didn’t like the expression on her face, which was full of … grief? Longing? Sadness?
    I couldn’t answer that question out loud. Because you ripped my heart out, I wanted to say. Because I couldn’t talk to you without hating you.
    Because I loved you too much to put you through my bitterness and rage. Because I didn’t deserve to have you.
    I shook my head, and said, in a light tone of voice, “It would be breaking the rules to answer that one, Alex.”

    No pepper spray in the bar (Alex)
    “I don’t know, Kelly. I’m not sure I’m up for it.”
    Kelly rolled her eyes at me while she was shimmying herself into a sheer halter that would take a can-opener to remove, then said, “Alex. It’s the first Friday back in school. We are going out. What’s gotten into you?”
    “What’s gotten into me is I need to study. I need to focus.”
    Kelly stopped what she was doing and walked straight at me. She put her hands on either side of my face, looked me in the eye, and said, “I call bullshit.”
    “What?”
    “You heard me, Alex. You’ve been crazy all week. It’s not your need to be Super-Geek Girl; you’ll be just fine with a night off from that. This is about Dylan.”
    Oh, go to hell.
    I stopped myself. The surge of anger was a surprise. Maybe she was right. I mean… I was over him. I thought. Okay, that’s not true. But… I didn’t think my behavior was different.
    “Helloooo?” she said, shaking her head as she dragged out the word.
    “Um… I haven’t really been crazy all week, have I?”
    “Oh, for God’s sake, Alex, get dressed! We are going out, right now! And just wait and see… some amazingly hot guy is going to come around and swoop you up, and it will be way too late for soldier boy. He’ll never know what hit him.”
    She turned around and went back to her mirror, then started applying her mascara.
    I started looking for something to wear. I wanted attractive, but… not too attractive. I hadn’t forgotten last spring. There. Jeans, with a medallion belt. Tight long-sleeved tee with a vest. Maybe not exactly bar-hopping attire, but Kelly was showing enough skin for both of us. And much as she talked about it, I didn’t really want some guy to swoop down on me. To be honest, the thought made my skin crawl, and that worried me, too. I dug through my bureau and got out my knee-high black suede boots, with their two-inch heels.
    An hour later we were standing at the 1020 Bar, trying to spot a place to sit in the packed bar. The bouncer took a second glance at my ID when we walked in, but let me and Kelly through anyway. Maybe he was hoping her tank would burst.
    Okay, yeah. I was being bitchy.
    A crowd surrounded the bar on our left, three or four rows deep. All of the booths were taken, of course, but we slowly worked our way to the bar. Kelly was in rare form, chatting up every guy we passed. I was feeling a bit more reserved, and frankly hated the crowd gathering in on me like that. This had never been my favorite place to hang out, mainly because of the crowds on the weekends. But somehow Kelly and I ended up here at least once a week.
    We finally squeezed ourselves onto stools side by side at the end of the bar closest to the pool tables. A group of twenty or so guys were crowded up against the bar to our left, chanting as they threw back shots. The band was setting up at the tiny stage near the pool tables, and the general volume of the place had grown louder