Leo Frankowski

problems. For one thing, you have to program an en viornment for them to
grow up in, or they go insane. For another, you need at least two computers
running so that they can have someone to relate to.
    “On the other
hand, this simulated self-awareness has its advantages. In training, for example. I
loaded my own program into one computer and that of my new Labor and Defense Unit
into the other. Then I set up a cross talk between them and let the ‘me’
program educate the LDU program. I ran it through twice to give ‘me’ some
experience in training them. Right now I’m running it through a third time with
a living LDU hooked into the circuit.”
    “You mean that
you can educate somebody in a few hours?” Mona asked.
    “Not without
causing neural damage. The fastest safe speedup factor is fifty. It means weeks
instead of years, though. And a lot less work.”
    “Can we
watch?” Mona was worried about training the fauns.
    “Not the actual
LDU. It’s under sedation in the next room and shouldn’t be disturbed. I can
show you the simulation if you like.”
    Copernick switched on
one of the displays. It showed a strange creature with a flat oval body, six feet by
three, standing
on four camel’s legs. There were eight fixed eyes around its circumference, and two
more at the ends of yard-long tentacles growing from its front. Two long remarkably humanoid
arms were held folded at its sides. There was a strange slit above each wrist. In
front of it stood Heinrich Copernick, writing on a blackboard. But it was the
Heinrich Copernick of a year ago, with crippled legs and a bent back. The man and the
LDU were moving
at blinding speed, and uttering high-pitched squeaks.
    Copernick adjusted a
dial on the panel and a digital readout changed from 12.5 MHz to 250 KHz. The
screen slowed
down to normal speed and conversations became intelligible.
    “… so the square of the hypotenuse
is equal to the sum of the squares of the
other two sides,” the image said.
“Oh. Hello, boss.”
    “Hi. How is it
going?” Copernick said.
    “On schedule.
Say, you’re looking good. When are you going to reprogram my body to match
yours?” the simulation said.
    “Mine isn’t
finished yet. But if you want to update yours anyway, feel free. My current
medical section is on bubble deck eighty-one.”
    “Thanks. I
will.”
    “That
classroom,” Mona said. “It looks so familiar.”
    “Boss, do you
have someone else there with you?” The simulation was startled. This was
unprecedented!
    “Yes.”
Copernick motioned Mona into the camera’s field of view.
    “Mona! My God,
girl! It’s good to see you in the flesh.”
    “Has Heinrich
been talking about me?” Mona said.
    “Of course not,
silly. I mean he has, but I was referring to before,” the simulation said.
    Mona looked
confused.
    “You mean he
hasn’t told you… Well, uh, I have work to do. See you both later.”
    “Later.”
Copernick quickly switched off the display and reset the system clock.
    “Told me
what?” Mona demanded.
    “I’ll explain
later.”
    “No. Now.”
    “Mona,
please.”
    “It just isn’t
fair! You were nice and loving all my life and then one day I have an operation and you
get cold and
icy, and you ship me off to that finishing school without even a kiss
good-bye…” Mona began to sob.
    “There were
things that a girl should know that I couldn’t teach you.” Copernick was
awkward as he put his arms around her.
    “And you almost
never wrote.” Mona sobbed.
    “You know how
busy I’ve been.”
    “And now I get
home and you waste all this time on technical stuff and you haven’t even kissed
me.”
    Copernick kissed her. “Better?”
    “Not much of a
kiss. Not like when we were on the lake or all the times we made love or—”
    “The
lake?” Copernick was confused for a moment. Then daylight dawned in the swamp. The
simulation had been making love to its student!
    “Heinrich,
what’s happened to you? I mean, have you changed your mind the way you changed your
body? Don’t
you love me any more?” Mona was crying in earnest.
    “I love you,
Mona.”
    “You do?”
    “I love you very
much. And I want you to marry me.”
    “You do?” Mona held him tightly.
Her tear-streaked face smiled.
    “Yes, I do. And
we can get married as soon as you like,” Copernick said. Right after I
have a little talk with that
damned simulation!
    “Oh, Heinrich,
I’d given up hoping that you’d want me.”
    “Of course I
want you.