Leo Frankowski

cheating again.”
    Dirk retracted his
yard long eye tentacles, turned a page of the book, and said,
“Twenty-four.”
    “Twenty-five.
Martin, if you have practical telepathy, what do you need with the telephone?”
    “Thirty.
Telepathy has only got one channel, Patty. We humans only use it for emergencies, and
this isn’t one of them.”
    “I’m afraid it
is, Uncle Martin,” Dirk said in Heinrich Copernick’s voice. “Please get
over here as soon as you can.”
    “But I wanted
to show Patty around town this morning, Heiny. And I got a run and five aces and
Dirk just gave
me meld bid!”
    “So play the
hand later. Say, how about if I ask Mona to show Patty around, Uncle Martin?
It’ll give the girls a chance to get acquainted.”
    “Ach! Heiny, it
better be good,” Guibedo said. “You gonna like Mona. Patty, we get
together later on. I’ll call you.”
    “How? I mean, if
I’m going to be out all day—”
    “The telephone
knows where you’re at.”
    “My mother
doesn’t know where I am. Can I make a few calls?”
    “It’s your
house, too, Patty. If you call outside the valley, they get a telegram. Come
on, Dirk, we go the low way,” Guibedo said, leaving.
    Liebchen started
cleaning up the kitchen, putting the cards away in four neat stacks and only
peeking a little
bit.
    “Liebchen,”
Patty said, “how do I, uh?…”
    “The telephone,
my lady? I’ll show you. Telephone, tell my sisters, Colleen and Ohura, that I
think I have the day off, so I’ll be over to their house in an hour. And, telephone, be sure and warn me when Lord
Guibedo starts home, so I can be here when
he arrives.”
    “Sure thing,
Liebchen,” the local ganglia said.
    “Just like that,
Liebchen? How do you know its listening?” Patty asked.
    “Oh, he’s
always listening, my lady. He just isn’t allowed to speak unless spoken to.
It’s rather a pity, he’s really very nice.”
    “I’m sure.
Telephone, please tell my mother that I’m in Death, I mean Life Valley, and that
I’m having a wonderful time and I’ve met the nicest boy that she’s just got to meet. Uh, her
address is…”
    “Four
ninety-one Seminole Drive, Boca Raton, my lady,” the telephone said.
    “How did you
know that?”
    “When you moved
in, my lady, I had your personal file loaded into my local ganglia from my
Central Coordination Unit.”
    “But how did it know?”
    “The phone directory, obviously, my
lady.”
    “Oh. And could
you tell my boss at NBC that everything is fine and I need another week’s
vacation?”
    “Happy to, my
lady. Have a nice day,” the telephone said.
     
    “Mother! This
is Patty,” the CCU said. “Why, Patty! It’s so nice to hear from
you.” “Mother, it’s beautiful here in Acapulco. I wish you could come.”
    “Well, not this
time, dear. You aren’t lonely, are you?”
    “Oh, no. Some of
the girls from NBC are with me. The water is just wonderful.”
    “That’s good,
dear. Have a nice time.”
     
    “Boss. Cambridge
here,” the CCU said.
    “Patty! Where
the hell you been? I’ve been trying to find you for days.”
    “Sorry, boss.
Finding a telephone in Death Valley is like trying to find a telephone in Death
Valley. Hey, this place is a dead end. Nothing but skid-row bums and blacks who can’t get
on welfare. But I’ve got a definite lead on Guibedo. He’s in Minnesota. Okay if
I track it down? I’ll need a couple more weeks.”
    “Well, Patty, if
you think it’s solid, go ahead. Take what time and money you need. But be
careful. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
    “Thanks, boss.
I’ll keep in touch.”
     
    Guibedo was riding
cross-legged on Dirk’s back, as Dirk trotted at thirty miles an hour down the
tunnel that connected Guibedo’s Oakwood to Copernick’s Pinecroft.
    “No offense, my
lord,” Dirk said, “but I’ll be glad when Lord Copernick’s Transportation,
Recreation, and Construction units grow up. I really wasn’t made for this sort of thing.”
    “Me, too. I
wasn’t either. Them TRACs will help. Can’t even keep a pipe lit. How do you read
in this wind, anyhow?”
    “With some
difficulty, my lord. It’s just that if we LDUs had had a proper philosophical base
earlier, certain… errors
wouldn’t have taken place.”
    “Yah. I know it
troubles you, Dirk. Those eighty-five families and that boy hiker and all the
rest. Those things were bad, and it’s good you should study so they don’t happen again. But
don’t let it get you on the insides. The