Light in the Shadows

              He continued to rub and thrust as his mouth returned to mine and his tongue fell into rhythm with his finger.  Maybe I should be returning the favor, but I was way too caught up in my orgasmic haze.
                    After my body skyrocketed again only to come crashing down, Clay withdrew his finger, his lips slowing in their aggressive assault of my mouth.  I was breathing like I had just run a mile in four minutes.  My heart beat so fast I was worried I might pass out. 
                    Clay fixed my panties and zipped up my pants.  He then pulled me onto my side so that he was cradling my back to his front.  He nuzzled into my hair and pressed a hand to my belly.  “Uh, wow.  Thank you,” I said lamely.
                    Clay snorted in my ear.  “You don’t need to thank me for that.  It was my pleasure, baby.”  My toes curled at the sensual way he voiced the endearment.  I wanted to squeal in pleasure.  I was such a girl sometimes.  A squeally, pink ribbon and sequins girl.  And that was a side of me that only Clay could bring out. 
                    My eyes caught sight of the discarded sketch pad and I pulled it closer.  I rolled onto my back and brought the paper up to my face.  My lips split into a smile as I saw the detailed drawing Clay had done of my profile while I had been sitting at his desk doing my homework.
                    “I do not look like that, Clay.  You have some biases in the way that you see me,” I scoffed, taken aback as I always was by the depth of his talent.  He really was an amazing artist. 
                    Clay kissed my cheek and brought his hand up to run down my nose.  “No, I think you’re the one who doesn’t see things clearly.  How you can look in the mirror every single day and not see the beautiful girl that I do, is beyond me.”  His words made me flush.  Not in embarrassment but in total and complete contentment.  A feeling I was becoming slightly addicted to.
                    I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at Clay, who arched his eyebrow at me.  “That look makes me nervous.  Makes me wonder what you have going on it that head of yours,” Clay teased, tapping the middle of my forehead. 
                    “You should go to art school or something. You’re really good.  You should be able to get into a program somewhere,” I said and was more than a little disappointed by the way Clay tensed up.  We hadn’t really talked about the future much beyond the fact that we wanted to spend it together. 
                    But how would that work when I went off to school?  I had gotten my acceptance letter to James Madison University earlier in the week.  My parents were thrilled, Rachel and Daniel were stoked.  But I hadn’t told Clay yet.  Mostly because I was terrified of ruining what we had with talk of separation and long distance relationships. 
                    Clay sat up and tossed his sketch pad on the bedside table.  It was getting dark and he turned on the small lamp.  I could see the strain my suggestion had caused.  Which was ridiculous.  I hadn’t been blowing smoke up his ass when I complimented his artistic abilities.  He really was awesome.
                    “So what do you think?” I asked, scooting along the bed until I was sat beside him, our legs pressed against each other. 
                    “Yeah, I don’t know,” Clay said shortly, which kind of irritated me. 
                    “Why don’t you look into it?  What could it hurt?  Have you thought at all about what you’re going to do after graduation?  Are you planning to stay here with Ruby?  Or are you going to school?” I knew I was pressing.  But the unanswered questions between us were starting to suffocate me. 
                    Clay grit his teeth.  “Look, Maggie. I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I just don’t know what I’m going to do.  I mean, I just got out of fucking treatment.  My aunt’s girlfriend was killed in a car accident and I’m trying to do the right thing by Ruby.  I haven’t exactly had the luxury of thinking too much about my goals,” he sneered at me and I recoiled a bit, not happy to see this old and all too familiar Clay.