Light in the Shadows

see the disappointment flash across her face.  We walked together out of the common room and headed down the hallway to the cafeteria.  “That was pretty tough today,” Maria said as we joined up with the others, who were getting in line for lunch. 
     
                    I nodded.  “Yeah.  It's kinda hard finding something nice to say about my parents.  You know, considering they're a bunch of self-absorbed asses,” I joked, picking up a tray.  Maria giggled behind me. 
     
                    “I know what you mean.  My mom is a cracked out dead beat who refused to protect me from my dad because it got in the way of her next high.  Thinking of the ooey gooey times together is more than a little difficult.” 
     
                  I took a plate of pasta and a salad and moved to drinks, getting myself a bottle of water.  Maria followed me to our regular table near the large window overlooking the gardens.  Tyler and our other friends, Susan and Greg, were already seated.
     
                    “Hey guys,” I said as I sat down.  Greg scooted over to make room and Maria sat on my other side. 
     
                    “How was group?” Tyler asked around a mouthful of sandwich.  Maria and I shrugged in unison and we laughed. 
     
                    “It was group.  How about you guys?” Maria commented.  The other three were in a group for substance abuse the same time Maria and I were in ours.  Susan Biddle, a short girl with brown hair and big brown eyes who reminded me a lot of Maggie's friend Rachel, snorted. 
     
                    “It would have been better if loud mouth Austin hadn't decided to be a total dick to Jean.”  Jean was the substance abuse counselor at the center.  And Austin was this places' Paul Delawder, the dick who had destroyed my MP3 player my first day at Jackson High School back in Virginia.
     
                    The guy Maggie had jumped to defend me from.  I smiled at the memory of my brave girl. 
     
                    Maria elbowed me in the side to bring me back to the conversation.  “Fuck, Austin.  He sucks,” I said smiling.  Greg, Susan, and Tyler agreed and the conversation then focused on the movie the center was showing tonight.
     
                    Every week, if we had earned enough merits and were doing well in our therapy, we earned a movie night.  We earned merits for completing various chores that the behavioral aides and therapists assigned us.  This week my job was to keep the common room clean.  I shared the job with three other kids.  I had earned all of my merits for the week, which was pretty cool.  I had lost a lot of them my first two weeks here.  So getting to join in the fun stuff was about as excited as I got anymore.
     
                    It wasn't like we left the facility or anything.  But it was nice to hang out with everyone in a non-therapeutic way and watch a movie without having to talk about our feelings.  Everyone could just relax and remember for a little while, that yeah, we were still teenagers.
     
                    Maria, Tyler (who was my roommate), and I walked back to my room after lunch.  We had an hour until afternoon sessions started.  I had a one on one with the substance abuse counselor, Jean.  The others had sessions either with their counselors or in groups.  That was the thing about this place.  It was one big session after another with a tiny bit of school squeezed into the mix.  We had two hours in the morning for school work provided by the Miami School District and then the rest of the day was all about dealing with our issues .
     
                    Maria went and flopped on my bed, making herself at home.  I had gotten pretty close to Maria since I got here (in a purely platonic way of course) and she often came back to the room to hang with Tyler and me.  But it still felt weird to have her on my bed, even if she was just sitting on it.  Because I didn't want to see any girl but Maggie May Young on my bed.
     
                    Even though I had written Maggie a letter a month ago, telling her to move on, it didn't mean that I had moved on.  I couldn't stomach the thought of being with anyone but her.  No one else mattered.  I had a feeling that Maria was starting to like me as more than a