Light in the Shadows

of how simple it would be to lose myself in that place where he was my entire world.  The world he had decimated.
                    “Yeah.  Okay.  Well, I just wanted to tell you that I’ve decided to stay in Davidson.  At least for a while,” he began but I cut him off.
                    “I’ve already heard.”  I made a show of checking my imaginary wrist watch.  “About six and a half hours ago to be precise.” Clay groaned.
                    “God, don’t these people have anything better to talk about?” he growled.  I lifted my shoulders in a shrug.
                    “This is Davidson, Virginia.  You sneeze in the woods and everyone knows about it five minutes later and then proceeds to talk about it until you’re forty.  It’s nothing personal.  You just gave these people something to talk about.  Be flattered,” I said shortly, closing my car door and leaning against it.
                    Clay rolled his eyes toward the sky.  “I just wish they’d talk about someone that wasn’t me,” he said softly and I felt bad for making light of it.  I knew it was hard for him to be the center of attention.  He had always preferred to blend into the background.  But that was difficult to do after our stint as teenagers on the run.  The town would be hard pressed to forget something like that anytime soon.  And now that he was back it only served to fan the flames that had only just started to die down.
                    “Yeah, it sucks,” I agreed, crossing my arms over my chest.  Clay looked at me. I mean really looked at me and something flickered in his dark eyes that made my heart pitter patter.  Annoying heart! 
                    Slowly, he leaned against my car beside me.  Our elbows rubbed together and the familiar tingles of electricity flickered across my skin.
                    “I just wanted to tell you myself.  I know I’ve made things…difficult for you and I’m sure my showing up here makes it even worse.” I wanted to stay angry with him.  I wanted to yell and scream about the way he had left me.  But it was hard to summon up anything other than stone cold relief that he was here at all.  But as always I was able to hide my more vulnerable emotions under a hefty pile of sarcasm and snark. 
                    “Nah.  You give yourself too much credit,” I teased, knocking his shoulder with mine.  Clay glanced at me through his lashes, the look on his face leaving me breathless.
                    “Probably.  But all the same, I don’t want to make things harder for you.” His voice dropped as his eyes fell to my lips. 
                    I found myself leaning into him, my eyes searching his and not letting go.  And I let the rough edges I had honed into sharp points soften a bit.  “It was harder for me when you were gone,” I admitted, surprising myself by laying such honesty at the feet of the one person who could stomp all over me.  Something lit in Clay’s eyes and flared to life.  Reaching up, he pushed my hair back off of my shoulder and placed his hand on the side of my neck.
                    “Maggie, there’s so much I need to tell you.  To explain.  I want you to understand why I never called. Why I felt the need to write that letter.  Everything I did was done for what I thought were really good reasons.  But right now it just feels like wasted time.” His thumb caressed the skin under my ear and I had to tamp down on the urge to shiver, both at his touch and his words.  The soundless chemistry began to build between us, just the way it always had.  This felt so reminiscent of a time, not too long ago, when the next logical step would be to fall into each other’s arms.  And I saw that Clay recognized that as well.  Then it all changed and the smoldering fire in his eyes flickered out.
                  Clay dropped his hand and stepped away, apology written all over his face.  “I, uh, I really need to get home.  I have to check on Ruby.   I just wanted you to hear the news from me.  I don’t expect this to change things between us.  I only wanted you to know.”  The shift in his demeanor left me confused and then irritated.  Again, this was classic Clay.  Hot and Cold.  Yes and No.  Up and Down. 
                    “How