Like This, for Ever

Joesbury. ‘You’ll have to appear.’
    ‘I know.’
    ‘Can you cope?’
    No, she really didn’t think she could. ‘Of course,’ she said.
    He sighed, took a step closer. ‘Dana tells me you’ve been signed off sick for another month. She says that other than official communication that you can’t avoid, no one’s heard anything from you since you got back to London. You won’t see anybody. You won’t even talk on the phone and you’re showing no interest in going back to work.’
    Where was he going with this?
    ‘Lacey, this isn’t you.’
    ‘No disrespect, DI Joesbury, but you know nothing about me.’
    Another heavy sigh, as though her natural desire for space and privacy was somehow childish and indulgent.
    ‘I know how much the job means to you,’ he said. ‘What did you tell me last year? Your career is all you have? If you’re going to throw that away as well, what’s left?’
    He knew far too much about her. That had always been the trouble with Mark Joesbury. What he didn’t know instinctively, he ferreted out somehow.
    ‘I heard a whisper the Sapphire Units are recruiting again,’ he said.
    The Sapphire Units were a relatively recent initiative in the Metropolitan Police, set up to handle crimes involving sexual violence. She’d joined the police service to work on crime against women and joining the units had always been her long-term goal. Of course, that was before Cambridge.
    ‘I can’t,’ she said.
    He’d been edging closer, almost without her noticing. If he reached out now, he’d touch her. She couldn’t let that happen. She took a step back.
    ‘I meant it,’ he said.
    It was probably just the light but his eyes didn’t look turquoise any more. They were the colour of storm clouds and the scar on his right temple looked fresh and vivid.
    ‘Every word I said on that tower – I meant it,’ he went on. ‘Jesus,Lacey, can we only be honest with each other when one of us is about to die?’
    Lacey wasn’t sure whether the sound she made next started out as a laugh or a sob. What came out of her mouth was a sort of strangled howl. A second later she was pressed tight against his chest, wailing like a child with cut knees. This! This was why she couldn’t be near Mark Joesbury.
    ‘I know, I know,’ he whispered in her ear, playing the parental role to perfection. ‘No one should have to go through what you did.’
    This had to stop right now. Much more of this and she’d tell him everything. She forced her breathing back under control, gave herself a minute until the sobs subsided, then pulled back. She ran both hands over her face to wipe the tears away before looking up.
    ‘What?’ he said. ‘Still pretending you don’t remember the tower?’
    Look him in the eye
. ‘I’m fine, Sir, really. I just need some more time. Thank you for your concern.’
    Joesbury’s tender moments never lasted long and this one vanished as quickly as it had appeared. ‘I just hope you’re clear about what you do and don’t remember before the trial,’ he said. ‘The last thing we need is a prosecution witness who’s fuzzy about the details.’
    Maybe all he really cared about was that she’d be able to hold it together as a witness. Well, life would be a lot less complicated if that turned out to be the case.
    ‘I won’t let you down,’ she told him.
    ‘I know you won’t. I suppose I should let you get some sleep.’
    ‘Thank you.’
    ‘Come out with me tomorrow night.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Dinner. Nothing heavy – actually there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Would seven be too early?’
    She shook her head. ‘It’s not a good—’ She didn’t get to finish. An electronic beeping came from his jacket pocket. He took a couple of seconds to read the text message. It was the chance she needed. She moved away, as though to give him privacy, edging closer to the conservatory door. She could see his reflection in the glass. He was tapping out a reply with his thumbs and wasn’t itridiculous, to feel cross and jealous that someone had taken his attention away from her, when she really didn’t want it in the first place?
    ‘That was Dana,’ he said, making eye contact with her in the glass.
    Dana. Who else?
    ‘They found the missing kids earlier this evening.’
    Instinct made Lacey turn and look him full in the face, seeking information. Police instinct, which she no longer wanted to be part of her make-up.
    ‘I suppose they’re …’
    He nodded.