Living Dead in Dallas

concierge referred to as his “baggage”) had been put in his room. I left a message, which I had to phrase so guardedly that it might be incomprehensible.
    I was really tired, since I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, but I had no intention of going to the next night’s party alone. I sighed deeply, and called Fangtasia, the vampire bar in Shreveport.
    “You’ve reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night,” said a recording of Pam’s voice. Pam was a co-owner. “For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to a live person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.”
    I pressed three.
    “Fangtasia,” Pam said, as if she were bored more completely than anyone had ever been bored.
    “Hi,” I said, weighing in on the perky side to counteract the ennui. “This is Sookie, Pam. Is Eric around?”
    “He is enthralling the vermin,” Pam said. I took that to mean Eric was sprawling in a chair on the main floor of the bar, looking gorgeous and dangerous. Bill had told me that some vampires were under contract to Fangtasia, to put in one or two appearances a week of a stated duration, so the tourists would keep coming. Eric, as an owner, was there almost every night. There was another bar where vampires went of their own accord, a bar atourist would never enter. I’d never been in it, because frankly, I see enough of bars while I’m at work.
    “Could you take him the phone, please, ma’am?”
    “Oh, all right,” she said grudgingly. “I hear you had quite a time in Dallas,” she said as she walked. Not that I could hear her steps, but the noise in the background ebbed and flowed.
    “Unforgettable.”
    “What did you think of Stan Davis?”
    Hmmm. “He’s one of a kind.”
    “I like that nerdy, geeky look myself.”
    I was glad she wasn’t there to see the astonished look I gave the telephone. I’d never realized Pam liked guys, too. “He certainly didn’t seem to be dating anyone,” I said, I hoped casually.
    “Ah. Maybe I’ll take a vacation to Dallas soon.”
    It was also news to me that vampires were interested in each other. I’d never actually seen two vampires together.
    “I am here,” Eric said.
    “And I am here.” I was a little amused at Eric’s phone answering technique.
    “Sookie, my little bullet-sucker,” he said, sounding fond and warm.
    “Eric, my big bullshitter.”
    “You want something, my darling?”
    “I’m not your darling, and you know it, for one thing. For another—Bill said you were coming over here tomorrow night?”
    “Yes, to tromp up in the woods looking for the maenad. She finds our offerings of vintage wine and a young bull inadequate.”
    “You took her live bull?” I was momentarily sidetracked by the vision of Eric herding a cow into a trailer and driving it to the shoulder of the interstate and shooing it into the trees.
    “Yes, indeed we did. Pam and Indira and I.”
    “Was it fun?”
    “Yes,” he said, sounding faintly surprised. “It had been several centuries since I dealt with livestock. Pam is a city girl. Indira had too much awe of the bull to be a lot of help. But if you like, the next time I have to transport animals I will give you a call, and you can go along.”
    “Thanks, that would be lovely,” I said, feeling pretty confident that was a call I’d never get. “The reason I called you is that I need you to go to a party with me tomorrow night.”
    A long silence.
    “Bill is no longer your bedmate? The differences you developed in Dallas are permanent?”
    “What I should have said is, ‘I need a bodyguard for tomorrow night.’ Bill’s in Dallas.” I was smacking myself on the forehead with the heel of my hand. “See, there’s a long explanation, but the situation is that I need to go to a party tomorrow night that’s really just a . . . well, it’s a . . . kind of orgy thing? And I need someone with me in case . . . just in case.”
    “That’s fascinating,” Eric said, sounding fascinated. “And since I’m going to be in the neighborhood, you thought I might do as an escort? To an orgy?”
    “You can look almost human,” I said.
    “This is a human orgy? One that excludes vampires?”
    “It’s a human orgy that doesn’t know a vampire is coming.”
    “So, the more human I look the less frightening I’ll be?”
    “Yes, I need to read