Lords and Ladies

anything, anything that anyone brings you…is having to shoe anything anyone brings you. The price for being the best is always…having to be the best. And you pays it, same as me.”
    The unicorn kicked several inches of timber out of the door frame.
    “But iron—” said Jason. “And nails—”
    “Yes?”
    “Iron’ll kill it,” said Jason. “If I nail iron to ’n, I’ll kill ’n. Killing’s not part of it. I’ve never killed anything. I was up all night with that ant, it never felt a thing. I won’t hurt a living thing that never done me no harm.”
    “Did you get that stuff from my dresser, Gytha?”
    “Yes, Esme.”
    “Bring it in here, then. And you, Jason, you just get that forge hot.”
    “But if I nail iron to it I’ll—”
    “Did I say anything about iron?”
    The horn took a stone out of the wall a foot from Jason’s head. He gave in.
    “You’ll have to come in to keep it calm, then,” he said. “I’ve never shod a stallion like this’n without two men and a boy a-hanging on to it.”
    “It’ll do what it’s told,” Granny promised. “It can’t cross me.”
    “It murdered old Scrope,” said Nanny Ogg. “I wouldn’t mind him killing it.”
    “Then shame on you, woman,” said Granny. “It’s an animal. Animals can’t murder. Only us superior races can murder. That’s one of the things that sets us apart from animals. Give me that sack.”
    She towed the fighting animal through the big double doors and a couple of the villagers hurriedly swung them shut. A moment later a hoof kicked a hole in the planking.
    Ridcully arrived at a run, his huge crossbow slung over his shoulder.
    “They told me the unicorn had turned up again!”
    Another board splintered.
    “In there?”
    Nanny nodded.
    “She dragged it all the way down from the woods,” she said.
    “But the damn thing’s savage!”
    Nanny Ogg rubbed her nose. “Yes, well…but she’s qualified, ain’t she? When it comes to unicorn taming. Nothing to do with witchcraft.”
    “What d’you mean?”
    “I thought there was some things everyone knew about trapping unicorns,” said Nanny archly. “Who could trap ’em, is what I am delicately hintin’ at. She always could run faster’n you, could Esme. She could outdistance any man.”
    Ridcully stood there with his mouth open.
    “Now, me ,” said Nanny, “I’d always trip over first ole tree root I came to. Took me ages to find one, sometimes.”
    “You mean after I went she never—”
    “Don’t get soft ideas. It’s all one at our time o’life anyway,” said Nanny. “It’d never have crossed her mind if you hadn’t turned up.” An associated thought seemed to strike her. “You haven’t seen Casanunda, have you?”
    “’Ello, my little rosebud,” said a cheerful, hopeful voice.
    Nanny didn’t even turn around.
    “You do turn up where people aren’t looking,” she said.
    “Famed for it, Mrs. Ogg.”
    There was silence from inside the forge. Then they could make out the tap-tap-tap of Jason’s hammer.
    “What they doing in there?” said Ridcully.
    “It’s stopping it kicking, whatever it is,” said Nanny.
    “What was in the sack, Mrs. Ogg?” said Casanunda.
    “What she told me to get,” said Nanny. “Her old silver tea set. Family heirloom. I’ve only ever seen it but twice, and once was just now when I put it in the sack. I don’t think she’s ever used it. It’s got a cream jug shaped like a humorous cow.”
    More people had arrived outside the forge. The crowd stretched all the way across the square.
    The hammering stopped. Jason’s voice, quite close, said:
    “We’re coming out now.”
    “They’re coming out now,” said Nanny.
    “What’d she say?”
    “She said they’re coming out now.”
    “They’re coming out now!”
    The crowd pulled back. The doors swung open.
    Granny emerged, leading the unicorn. It walked sedately, muscles moving under its white coat like frogs in oil. And its hooves clattered on the cobbles. Ridcully couldn’t help noticing how they shone.
    It walked politely alongside the witch until she reached the center of the square. Then she turned it loose, and gave it a light slap on the rump.
    It whinnied softly, turned, and galloped down the street, toward the forest…
    Nanny Ogg appeared silently behind Granny Weatherwax as she watched it go.
    “Silver shoes?” she said quietly. “They’ll last no time at all.”
    “And silver nails. They’ll last for long enough,” said