Lost in the Cosmos

nothing less than the self itself, and that if the persona fails, what is revealed is unspeakable (literally, because you can’t speak it), like what was revealed when the Phantom of the Opera had his mask ripped off, a no-face, a vacancy, a hole which is much worse than the ugliest face—so frightening, in fact, that you remember, as a child, crawling under the seat in the movie?
    Thought Experiment: If you are a shy person, which of the following situations is the most terrifying to you? Which is the least terrifying?
    In the first, you are a mid-echelon executive in the sales division of a large company in which you are both successful and well liked. You are scheduled to deliver a speech at the annual banquet, an honor. You have months to prepare.
    In the second, you are the character Richard Hannay in Hitchcock’s The Thirty-nine Steps. Pursued down a street by his enemies, he ducks into a doorway which happens to be a stage door and finds himself on stage at a political rally where he is mistaken for the guest speaker and introduced. He has not the faintest idea what he is supposed to talk about.
    In the third, the world’s population has been destroyed by nuclear wars. Only you have survived. The earth is invaded by extraterrestrial beings. They capture you and haul you up before a large tribunal and make it known to you that you must give an account of yourself, what you are doing here, why you should be spared, etc.
    Explain your choice.
    Thought Experiment (II): Explain why Moses was tongue-tied and stagestruck before his fellow Jews but had no trouble talking to God.
    Explain on what grounds Christ told his followers not to worry if they were arrested and required to testify before a court of their enemies. You will know what to say, he told them. Did he imply that it is easier to talk to enemies than to friends and that the real problem arises when one is required to address one’s fellow Christians in the church at Corinth?

(5)The Fearful Self (II):
    Why the Self is so Afraid of Being Stuck with Another Self

    JOHNNY CARSON, WHEN QUESTIONED about his aplomb on the stage before a TV audience of millions, replied: Sure, I’m at ease up here—because I’m in control—but when I’m at a cocktail party and caught in a one-on-one conversation: panic city!
    Question: What do Johnny Carson and other shy people fear when they are caught in a “one-on-one” conversation at a cocktail party? That is, what is the worst case, the worst thing that can happen?
    (a) That you can’t think of anything interesting to say and the other person will be bored?
    (b) That the other person has nothing to say that you want to hear and you know you will be bored?
    (c) That neither of you has anything to say and therefore the world will come to an end, or rather, something worse than the end of the world, or, as Carson would say, panic city—that is, a predicament in which all options open to you are more intolerable than the end of the world?
    (d) That there are only two means of escape, both of which are intolerable: either you leave, which will hurt the other person’s feelings, or the other person leaves, which will hurt your feelings?
    (e) That you will be exposed, that is, that the unique unformulability, the singular nought, which you secretly believe yourself to be, will be exposed at last, the one black hole among a billion other ordinary stars?
    ( CHECK ONE )

    Thought Experiment: Imagine that you are Johnny Carson and find yourself caught in an intolerable one-on-one conversation at a cocktail party from which there is no escape.
    Which of the two following events would you prefer to take place: (1) That the other person become more and more witty and charming, the music more beautiful, the scene transformed to a villa at Capri on the loveliest night of the year, while you find yourself more and more at a loss; or (2) that you are still in Beverly Hills and the chandeliers begin to rattle, a 7.5 Richter earthquake takes place, and presently you find yourself and the other person alive and well, and talking under a mound of rubble.
    If your choice is (2), explain why it is possible for a true conversation to take place under the conditions of (2) but not (1).

(6) The Fearful Self (III):
    How the Self Tries to Escape its Predicament

    QUESTION: IF YOU ARE a shy person, is it better to accept your shyness, or to seek help from a psychotherapist in order to become an assertive outgoing person, or perhaps to