Lost Light

about it in here,” he said. “You can sit here and be smug and talk about your ideas of justice. But you have no fucking idea what is out there.”
    My response to that was a smile. My words came readily.
    “You can save that speech for the politicians who change the rules for you until there are no rules anymore. Until something like justice for a murdered and violated woman adds up to nothing in the equation. That’s what’s going on out there.”
    Peoples leaned forward. He was about to spill and he wanted to make damn sure I got it.
    “Do you know where Aziz was going with that money? We don’t know but I can tell you where I think he was going with it. To a training camp. A terrorist training camp. And I’m not talking about in Afghanistan. I’m talking about within a hundred miles of our border. A place where they train people to kill us. In our buildings, in our planes. In our sleep. To come across that line and kill us with blind disregard for who we are and what we believe. Are you going to tell me that I’m wrong, that we should not do everything we can to find such a place if it exists? That we should not take whatever measures are necessary with that man to get the information we need from him?”
    I leaned back across the mattress until my back was against the wall. If I’d had a cup of coffee I wouldn’t have ignored it the way he was ignoring his.
    “I’m not telling you anything,” I said. “Everybody’s got to do what they’ve got to do.”
    “Wonderful,” he said sarcastically. “Words of wisdom. I’m going to get a wall plaque for my office and put that right on it.”
    “You know, I was in a trial once and the lawyer on the other side said something I always try to remember. She quoted a philosopher whose name I don’t recall offhand-I’ve got it written down at the house. But this guy said that whoever is out there fighting the monsters of our society should make damn sure that they don’t become monsters themselves. See, because then all is lost. Then we don’t have a society. I always thought that was a good line.”
    “Nietzsche. And you almost got the quote right.”
    “Getting the quote right isn’t what matters. It’s remembering what it means.”
    Peoples reached into the pocket of his coat. He pulled out my watch. He threw it to me and I started putting it on. I looked at the face. The hands of the clock were set against a gold detective’s badge with the city hall on it. I noted the time and saw that I had been in the cube longer than I had thought. It was almost dawn.
    “Get out of here, Bosch,” he said. “If you cross our field of vision on this again you will find yourself back here faster than you’d think was possible. And no one will know you are here.”
    The threat was obvious.
    “I’ll be among the disappeared then, huh?”
    “Whatever you want to call it.”
    Peoples raised his hand over his head so the camera would see it. He twirled a finger in the air and the electronic lock on the door clacked and the door opened a few inches. I stood up.
    “Go,” Peoples said. “Somebody will see you out. I’m cutting you a break here, Bosch. Remember that.”
    I headed toward the door but hesitated when I was passing him. I looked down at him and the file he still clutched.
    “I assume you cleaned me out, took my files. Lawton Cross’s too.”
    “You won’t be getting it back.”
    “Right, I understand. National security. What I was going to say is look through the photos. Find one of the photos of Angella on the tile. Look at her hands, man.”
    I headed toward the open door.
    “What about her hands?” he called after me.
    “Just look at her hands. The way we found them. You’ll know what I’m talking about then.”
    In the hallway Parenting Today was waiting for me.
    “This way,” he said curtly and I could tell he was disappointed that I was being cut loose.
    On the way up the hallway I looked for Mousouwa Aziz in one of the square windows but didn’t see him. I wondered if by chance I had looked into the face of the killer I was looking for and that it would be my only glimpse, that I would get no closer. I knew that as long as he was in here I would never get to him, literally or legally. He was gone from me. He was among the disappeared. The ultimate dead end.
    We went out through two electronic doors and then I was delivered to an elevator alcove. There was no button for me to push. Parenting Today looked up at a camera in