Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 1

to being a governing council. They enacted laws meant to save our species . Our numbers were increasing slowly since this policy went into place three generations ago.
    We youngsters got our fuck-around time and then we had to hunker down in a monogamous relationship. It was the only way, back then, to make sure we kept track of the genetics. No first cousins having kids that ended up with some horrible birth defect. Each birth was too important.
    "I… I assumed you were the same. Like us. If you had been human, I wouldn't have just jumped in like this. I would have taken time to get to know you. I hope you'll give me a chance to now. I… I only get one shot at this. Every wolf only has one mate."
    This guy thinks I'm his one and only. Something was clearly broken. It just didn't work that way for bears. I tried to remain calm, but I needed to get out of there. I suspected he could smell my emotions so I tried to think about happy thoughts and then I lied through my teeth.
    "Of course the sex was… pretty amazing," I added.
    Okay, the only lie in the last part was the qualification. It had been the best sex of my life. My paws never came out before. A small part of my brain tried to bring that to the front, but I pushed it aside. I needed to focus on the issue at hand— getting away from the possessive wolf.
    He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relaxing. "Okay."
    I could see he was tired— post-coital bliss and all that— so I rubbed his back, encouraging him to sleep.
    He looked kinda sweet as he drifted off, like a good puppy. But there was no way I could stay. I wasn't going to be tied down because of some weird wolf folklore. Not to mention the whole survival thing.
    Fortunately, he slept like a log, and I slipped out of bed, dressed quietly, and left. I assumed wolves had keen senses of smell and that would let him track me down too easily, so I walked back to my car and drove north into Vermont. I hadn't been back to see my parents since Christmas and it seemed like a good idea.
    I arrived at home at five AM, slipped into the house and up to the room I shared with two of my brothers. They were fast asleep, so I got into bed and finally let my head fall to the pillow.
    Kyle wakes and he looks around for me, his heart racing. He smells that I'm not there. He dresses and follows my scent to my parking spot where it disappears. He searches around, trying to find it. He wants to howl but knows better than to do it in the small college town.
    I sat up with a start. It was the first of my dreams of Kyle and unfortunately not the last.
    ****
    As the semester continued, my anxiety grew. I just knew Kyle would come back to campus to find me.
    The first time was a week later. Need, want, longing filled me until it hurt. He was coming. Part of me wanted to stay, but then I thought of the extinction of my race.
    So I just got in my car and drove away.
    He couldn't track me when I drove. How I knew he was coming made no sense, but my roommate confirmed that the guy had come looking for me.
    Fuck! I was being stalked.
    I managed to hold on for the rest of the semester and graduate with my class. But instead of going to MIT for my masters, I went to Stanford. It seemed like a good time to get out of Dodge.
    Even when I moved to California, the dreams continued:
    Kyle is running through the woods at night, howling in pain, frantic. Then he's in a dorm room at Williams College. Tears are streaming down his face as he sits at his desk, angry and alone. He is trying to do work, but he can't focus. There is a low level ache inside him.
    I don't make any friends at Stanford. I just feel awkward… like I have made the biggest mistake of my life, and I don't deserve friends, or girls, or anything. Everything around me looks flat, like all the color has drained from the world.
    Kyle is masturbating. His hand moves in the rhythmic tug and pull that will bring about release. His eyes are closed. He looks beautiful. His balls draw up tight, and he comes calling my name. He swipes the semen off his belly and then curls into the fetal position.
    I graduate and get my dream job at Soft Corp. I try to date, but I just can't see myself with anyone else. It feels wrong. I feel wrong. I'm like a robot going through the motions of life but not really living.
    Maybe, I should try to find him.
    How many Kyles could there be at Williams? But, then I remember the council. They would never allow us to be together.
    My father calls. I