Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 10

in command's ability to inspire such hero worship in the younger soldiers. He wondered if Con would fuck this one and walk away as he had with all the others. Well, not this time! He liked this boy too much to let Con use him in such a careless fashion. With a weary sigh, Gael shook his head and spoke in a gentle tone to the boy.
    "A word of advice, boy? Don't think too much of Con's attention. He likes a good fuck as much as the next man but attachments aren't one of his strengths! He tends to forget them as soon as the next pretty face comes along."
    Gael paused again to see what impact his caution had on the boy. He didn't mean to be harsh but the last thing he needed was one of his men losing focus on the battlefield because he was mooning over his second in command. Besides, this was nothing more than a minor infatuation at best. At least he hoped that's all it was. Well, nothing to be done about it now.
    "I better get moving and bring Con his sword or his Lordship will have my head!"
    Then, laughing again, the commander left. Ren watched as the tent flap fell closed behind his receding form. He looked down at the goblet clenched in his hand and heard Lord Gael's words again, "He tends to forget them as soon as the next pretty face comes along." With a cry not unlike that of a wounded animal, Ren hurled the goblet against the side of the tent.
    He had been such a fool! Such a complete fool to think that he was anything special to the commander! Nothing but an easy fuck that's all he was! That was all he would ever be, a whore for anyone who was nice enough to pay him attention. Ren felt bitterness bloom and take root in the very corners of his soul. He stood, panting as if he had run a race; his eyes were wild and he felt a pain in his heart as the shame of his foolish dreams washed over him like a flood. Grinding his teeth, he threw his shoulders back and reached for his own sword!
    He would show them! He would show them all! Tomorrow on the battlefield, Ren would fight alongside all the others. To hell with squiring the horses as everyone else got to wet their blades in the blood of the enemy! Tomorrow he, Ren Deloran, common bastard, would stand and fight the enemy! And perhaps, just perhaps, somewhere in the melee, he would be fortunate enough to meet death head on. Ren felt tears blaze a path down his cheeks as he realized that in his heart of hearts he hoped fervently that death would win the battle and put him out of his misery.
    ****
    Ren raised his head and dashed at his eyes which had welled up with unshed tears. No sense in rehashing old memories. Six months ago, after saving Con on the battlefield, he had decided to walk away from the man he loved because he was sure that Con would never love him in return. On that day, the words that Gael had uttered about how Con felt toward him had burned into his mind and his path was set. Or at least that's what Ren had thought, until he was jumped upon and dragged down into Anzel's lair on one of the lower commander's sweep for slave labor.
    Things would have been different if he hadn't let it slip that he had served in the Agori army. When one of the guards had informed Anzel, things changed swiftly. Ren cursed his stupidity. He never suspected that one evening Anzel would have a drug slipped into his wine that would loosen his tongue and have him spilling not the military secrets Anzel was hoping for, but the feelings he had locked away for Con instead. From that moment on, Ren's life became a living hell.
    Ren curled into a ball, praying the pain in his heart would somehow ease. The last six months had nearly broken him. Countless beatings and constant verbal abuse had left Ren little more than a shell of his former self. Never thinking very highly of himself to begin with, Ren now felt lower than the dirt and rock he sat on. He hated that Anzel's words affected him so; yet he couldn't help agreeing with them. As Anzel had taken every opportunity to point out, how could someone as fine, as noble and strong as Constantine Aurelius want to have anything to do with him"…"a useless piece of shit""… that's what Anzel had called him, amongst other things. He could still hear Anzel's last vicious diatribe ringing in his ears.
    "Let me make this perfectly clear so that your little mind can understand!" Ren watched out of the corner of his eye as Anzel paced back and forth in front of him, caressing the paddle in his hands. After that one time of using the lash,