Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 3

into leaving early. "You want tea or a beer?" Jesse said, closing the front door and hanging up his keys.
    "Tea, thanks. Is everything okay? You've been kind of quiet."
    Keep breathing. He is not on to you. Not yet . "I'm great. Will you make it to the BBQ this weekend? Paige wants us to meet her new boyfriend."
    "I'll try. You know I can't make promises."
    "That's right. Work." Jesse tried not to stare as he moved about the kitchen making the tea but Omar looked especially gorgeous leaning against the cupboards. Dark, stupidly tight denim showed every single bulge. Lean calves, nicely muscled thighs, beautifully honed butt cheeks and what looked like an ample surprise up front. Jesse placed two cups on the counter and stood in front of Omar. The stretch of t-shirt over Omar's perfectly chiselled chest showed the hitch in his breath. Jesse could almost feel his racing heart; the air between them was so alive. Now or never. He pressed forward, crushing their bodies together and nestled against Omar's neck.
    "Jesse, what are you doing?"
    "Holding you."
    Omar pushed away, flushed and shaky. "Please don't."
    "What's wrong with friends getting intimate? A little cuddling, some kissing."
    "Jesse, I know you think I'm naïve, even a little stupid, but don't think I can't see what you're doing." Omar sidestepped out of Jesse's path and leaned against the doorframe a safe distance away. "You've made me watch enough romantic comedies in the time we've spent together for me to know what you think comes next. It's not going to happen."
    The self-righteous prick. What the fuck did he know about anything Jesse was thinking? "I do not think you are stupid. Not in the way you're suggesting anyway."
    "What other way is there?"
    "I think you're stupid for not giving this a go. I know how you feel about me. I know how you fight with yourself not to touch me. I'm not stupid either." Jesse desperately wanted the words to stop but they just kept coming. "What I don't understand is why you think it's so wrong. So you're a bit older than me, so what. I don't care."
    "It's not about age. It's my job. I can't get involved with you."
    "Not that I know what your job is, because that's one of the things I'm not grown up enough for you to discuss with me–"
    "Jesse—"
    "But with the amount of time you spend hanging out I can't see how I'm going to interfere with your commitment."
    "It wouldn't be fair to you."
    "Fair? What's fair about the way things are? You hang around here every spare minute you have, all sparkles and rainbows. You have a sixth sense radar that blows any plans I have to get a life. And how the hell am I supposed to get it on with anyone else when you're all I see? I bloody love you already and I've barely touched you and it's killing me having you so close."
    Omar took a step, even reached out a hand that made Jesse's breath catch in his chest, but aborted the movement and just stared. "You're right. I didn't think."
    Jesse blinked at him through the tears he refused to shed. The gulf between them trebled in that instant. The precipice Jesse had been standing on for so long shrank back and he teetered precariously on the edge.
    "I'm so sorry, Jesse. I never meant to…it's wrong, what I've done to you. I hope you'll forgive me, in time." Omar turned on his heel and a strange sound ripped from Jesse's chest.
    "Wait! You can't walk away from me. I just told you I love you."
    The light, the colour and the twinkle Jesse loved so much in Omar's eyes were gone when he turned back, his face as solemn as Jesse had ever seen it. His Omar, the quirky, fascinating enigma that had captivated his heart and every moment of his thoughts since they'd met had vanished and in his place was a cold husk of an older man having to deal with a teenage crush. Jesse thought he heard the sound of his own heart shatter.
    "I won't bother you again, Jesse. Go find a life for yourself. Go find love in someone worthy of you."
    Jesse grabbed for Omar's arm, desperate to keep some contact. "But you're worthy of me. Omar, please , we can just be friends. I shouldn't have pushed it."
    "We can't be friends. I see that now." Omar leaned in and placed the softest kiss on Jesse's cheek. "Goodbye, Jesse."
    Jesse was sure he was screaming obscenities at the back of the stranger walking away from him, but everything was muffled, stilted in the slow motion of what would be the final torture. And after all this time, he still didn't know Omar's telephone number or