Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

tried to resist, tried to will myself not to react. But of their own accord, my eyes lifted up to look into his searing blue-gray eyes. I gulped, as I felt my dick start to perk up and quickly bunched the thin blanket around me so that he would not see.
    "Aw, you do look a little flushed, A. Your mom sent some soup up for you if you're hungry." I realized he had placed a tray on the nightstand. A few awkward moments of silence passed, as he waited for me to say something, but I kept my mouth shut.
    "Okay, well... I hope you feel better. Get some rest, sport." He turned and left, shutting the door behind him. I flopped over onto my back and threw the blanket over my head in embarrassment.
    I was starved though. Apparently gay guys needed to eat too. I sat up and wolfed down the soup. My dick eventually calmed back down to normal. I slept a little more and the next morning when I woke up again the sun was shining and the birds were chirping outside my window. Just like normal. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I was done I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Other than looking a little groggy from sleep, I saw the same thing I did every day– same floppy, dirty-blond hair, same green eyes, same fair skin with a few acne spots here and there. I didn't look any different than I did yesterday, or the day before. I didn't feel any different– well, as long as I didn't think about Chase. I still felt like me. There was nothing about me that screamed out I LIKE BOYS, at least that I could tell. So maybe no one else would be able to tell either?
    I glanced back at my bed, but I knew I couldn't hide there for the rest of my life. The world would go on spinning, each new day would dawn, the same as the day before and the day before that. And I was still going to be gay. Every day. So I guess I needed to learn how to deal with it.
    I showered and headed downstairs. My heart thudded nervously when I saw Mom in the kitchen, but when she turned and saw me, she smiled as big as she always did when she saw me. Actually she fawned over me more than usual, but that was just because she had thought I'd been sick.
    I braced myself for every encounter I had that day but no one treated me any different. My dad came in from work and did pay me a little more attention than normal, again because I'd been "sick." Then he was back to giving a kiss to mom and telling her about his day while she made dinner. Bobby pretty much ignored me, but that was normal too.
    I spent a lot of time that evening and the next few days holed up in my room on the computer, searching everything I could about being gay. I came across several message boards where gay teens were talking to each other. I was too shy to join in but it made me feel better, reading their stories and realizing they were going through the same things I was. And of course I came across a lot of very eye-opening sites as well. I watched my first gay porn video and I was so turned on, I came before the porn stars did. That first porn experience ironically left me feeling very relieved– relieved because it meant I was gay and I could get it up for other men and not just Chase.
    That didn't mean, however, that I wasn't still tortured by Chase. None of the porn stars ever made me as hot as he did. And unfortunately for me and my balls and dick, he was around our house a lot that summer. He and Bobby worked for a landscaping company and he'd come home with Bobby every day after they were done with work. I saw a lot of his tanned, rock-hard body in tank tops and shorts... sometimes in just shorts... causing a problem in my shorts. Chase would be all smudged with dirt, his muscles and skin all shiny with sweat. My dick would pop right up, and I would try and hide behind the kitchen counter or run up to my room.
    The family all pretty much left me alone that summer. Bobby was more than happy to be rid of me. I caught Mom and Dad watching me for a while, and Dad even tried to sit down with me and have a "heart-to-heart" which was pretty short and to the point, because neither of us really wanted to say much. He just sat there and looked at me for a while, asked me if I was doing drugs, and then told me if I ever needed to talk about anything I could come to him or Mom. But after a while I think they just chalked it up to being a teenager and let me be. Chase was the only one who refused to give up on me.
    He was an only child, so that was why he'd always liked spending time with me. He