Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

grateful that he wasn’t coughing his lungs out any more.
    This time his sleep was empty, no dreams, no thoughts, just empty.

    A few times, brief images of Eli or Len crossed his mind, and sometimes he felt like he was swimming underwater, but then there was blankness and nothing.
    He opened his eyes. The room was dark, and there was something over his mouth and nose. He tried to take it off, but he was too tired, so he left it. He could breathe anyway, so what did it matter? Turning his head, he could see someone sitting in a chair next to his bed, but he really couldn’t make sense of it. Why was Eli sitting in a chair instead of sleeping next to him? He tried to talk, but 97
    Andrew Grey

    his throat was sore and so dry he just couldn’t. And besides, he was warm and comfortable, so he closed his eyes again and let everything slip away.
    When he opened his eyes again, the room was brighter, and he could tell that the thing over his mouth and nose was an oxygen mask and that he was in a hospital bed. Slowly looking around the room, he saw that he was alone. Howlong have I been here? There wasn’t much in the room, but lifting his eyes, he could see a digital clock that told him it was just after what he assumed to be eight in the morning on June tenth. June tenth! The last thing he could remember was going to bed two days ago. I must have been really sick.
    He heard footsteps and turned toward the door as Eli walked into the room carrying a coffee cup in his hand. Eli saw that Geoff’s eyes were open and he smiled, set his cup on the tray, and hurried to the bed, his arms burrowing beneath him. “I thought… you were asleep for so long….” The pain and worry in Eli’s voice came through loud and clear.
    Geoff’s throat was so dry he couldn’t talk, but he used the hand that wasn’t attached to an IV to pat the back of Eli’s head as he closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Eli’s arms around him.
    “I see someone’s feeling better.” Geoff looked over Eli’s shoulder and saw Len walk into the room. Len patted Eli’s shoulder gently, but Geoff motioned that it was all right and continued stroking Eli’s black hair with his good hand. He’d given Eli quite a scare, and he needed to be reassured. Len pressed the nurse’s call button, and a few minutes later a middle-aged nurse with a caring face walked into the room. “Could you let his doctor know he’s awake?”
“Of course, honey, just let me check on him.” She put her hand on Eli’s back, “Sweetie, I got to check him out.” 98
    Love Means … NO SHAME
Slowly, Eli got up, his arms slipping from behind Geoff’s back.
“You gave us quite a scare, young man.” She talked gently while she worked, checking his pulse, taking his temperature.
    “Almost normal, that’s real good.” She jotted it on his chart and then took out her stethoscope and listened to his lungs. “Those sound much better too.” She took all her equipment with her. “I’ll call the doctor; hopefully we can remove the oxygen. And I’ll bring you something to drink.” Geoff nodded and tried to say thank you but gave up and just smiled. She smiled back and left the room.
    Geoff looked at Len, hoping he’d explain what happened and why he'd ended up here. “We found you in your bed with a high fever, sweating up a storm, and brought you to the emergency room.
    They diagnosed pneumonia right away and got you on antibiotics and oxygen. That was almost two days ago.” The nurse came in again and took off the mask before turning off the oxygen. “If you have any trouble breathing, you just press the button right away.” Then she left a glass of ice chips on the tray.
    Eli came right over, sat on the edge of the bed, and picked up the cup. He put a piece of ice to Geoff’s lips. The coolness felt good, and the water slid down Geoff’s throat. The first swallow felt like the walls of his throat were grinding together. Against his better judgment, he swallowed again. The pain was still there but not near as bad.
    Eli leaned forward and kissed his still-parched lips. Geoff saw Len’s expression widen, but Len said nothing, just smiled a little. “I…” God, talking hurt his throat, “woke up and saw Eli sleeping in the chair.” The last of the ice chip melted, and Eli gave him another one. “You saw me?” Geoff nodded. “But you never moved all night.”
99
Andrew Grey
    “I just woke up for a few minutes, I think, and then fell back to sleep.” Eli