Love Songs from a Shallow Grave

the world .
    I am in the stairwell now, sitting on a step among other debris like myself. I feel like I have been dragged across broken masonry by a team of drunken asses. Indeed I have. My dance with the twig took more out of me than I have to spare. My journey thus far has taken me past three classrooms whose bright lights chiselled out the shape of the doors. From one I heard sobs. The others were silent. Then I passed the room with Teachers’ Common Room written in French in grand letters above the door. That was the room they’d taken me to. The business room. It was dark now. Torment is obviously a nine-to-five job. The torturers had hung up their claw hammers and headed off home to play with the kids. Stroke the dog. Kiss the wife .
    “ How was your day, dear? ”
    “ You know. The usual .”
    They don’t need night sentries at a place like this. One old twig should do the job. The guests are either dead or broken. My feet appear to be bleeding. I should have taken the jailer’s sandals. Smashed glass everywhere. My jungle-hardened feet have become soft after two years in Vientiane. Soft, like my old head. I bleed and I sit and I breathe and another burst of energy arrives. Perhaps I can make it to the ground floor .
    As I work my way down I wonder what they’ll ask me at my interview as I pass through the other world .
    “ So, Yeh Ming, we see you almost got out of S21 .”
    “ Yeah. I killed a man .”
    “ Just the one? ”
    What kind of a question is that? Of course just one. Surely they don’t count death by omission? Damn it. I bet they do. They’re tough, these overlords. And they’re right, of course .
∗
    I brought the keys with me in case there’s a gate or another locked door but it takes me another ten minutes to get back to my corridor and to the burning lights. I know I’ll regret this decision but it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m mad, don’t forget. Irrational. They’ll smudge over this in my obituary. I open the first door like Alice, not knowing what world I’ll find there. There are three men inside. One is awake and alert. He looks at me with surprise. Another is only half-conscious. He seems to come round as I walk into the room. A third looks dead .
    I smile but I’m unable to answer their questions. I hand the hex key to the first prisoner and I check the pulse of the third. Prisoner one unlocks himself and his colleague but there is no point in freeing the third man. I recognised his spirit amongst my classmates. I believe the only chance we have of escape is for us to stick together but I can’t convey this thought to these men. The second prisoner, now conscious, ignores me and limps from the room. I personally think this is a bad option but look where my decisionmaking has led me. That leaves me and prisoner one, whom I shall call Thursday. I have no idea what day it is but Thursday was my birthday. It’s also the day Madame Daeng puts special number 2 noodles on the menu. It’s a good day .
    Thursday and I go together to the second room. Adrenalin has recharged me and my hands are steady now. I can unlock the door without dropping the keys. Inside is a pitiful sight. A woman in her late twenties. Beside her, chained to the same pipe is a child of around three. Both mother and child are bruised. Thursday unlocks them, whispering words of encouragement as he does so. He helps her stand and carries the child out the door .
    The stench from the third room tells me that it probably isn’t a good idea to go in. I gesture for my fellow escapees to stand back and I open the door. I’m a hard man to astonish, really I am. But the sight I see there takes away what final breath I have. Chained to a floor pipe at the centre of the room is my heavy monk friend. He looks up at me with those same pitiful eyes. But I can tell you, this isn’t one of his staged dramas. This is as real as it can be. Filed around the room like stacks of tapped rubber are twenty, perhaps thirty bodies in various states of decomposition. Two are attached on short chains to the big man’s ankles. He has been beaten. His fingers are bloody .
    He speaks first in Khmer, then in French;
    “ Help me? ”
    I glare down at him. I hate the man with all my heart but I am not given to revenge. I remove the key from the chain and place it several metres beyond his reach. I tell him how to retrieve it and walk to the door. Nobody deserves to be punished without humanity in this life. He will meet his