Lynx Northern Shifters 3

waited in that prison for you.”
“How long were you there?”
“Months. I weakened, lost track of time. I don’t usually do that.”
“He was starving you to death.” Because of me. The guilt was hard to bear, but Trey would bulldoze his way through it, churning stomach or no.
Jonah shrugged, then glanced at Trey again, looking for a reaction. “Horton wasn’t my first kill, Aaron was.”
“Aaron Smythe, your mother’s ex?” Trey asked and watched Jonah nod. “He used to hit you.”
Jonah laughed, little humor in it. “He put my mother in a coma. She died. I stalked and killed him. Ripped out his throat. It’s more satisfying to rip out a person’s throat when you’re lynx. But I had fewer choices with Horton.”
“Jonah—” He knew it was too soon, but his body insisted on reaching for him, insisted that what Jonah needed was the contact.
“No.” Jonah was already standing, backing up to the cot, before Trey’s hand had gotten near him.
“What happened there?” demanded Trey. “Why are you like this?”
Jonah frowned. “I am telling you what happened.”
You won’t let me touch you. But Trey bit down, didn’t speak. Those words weren’t going to help here and now.
Somehow Jonah understood. “I spent a lot of time as human. I discovered I don’t like to be touched by people. I don’t like it all. No one assaulted me, well, apart from Aaron and Horton, but they’re dead.”
“What did Horton do?”
“He shackled me, Trey. You saw it. He would put those restraints on me, twice, and it made my skin crawl.” The expression of revulsion on Jonah’s face scared Trey, scared him for Jonah’s sake.
“I’m not them. You know that.”
“Sure. I know that. But I was waiting for you. I spent too much time thinking about you, and it’s a mess in my head. You’re all tied up with Horton.” There was the faintest trace of an apology in Jonah’s expression. “So don’t touch me.”
Trey could feel his face fall, didn’t know what to say. “I’m so sorry,” he said hoarsely. “I never wanted this for you. I was trying to protect you from exactly this.”
“I’m glad you protected Ira, Trey, I am. I think that you’re a good person. But…” Jonah gestured, a flip of one hand that was part shrug, part goodbye. “You want something from me I cannot give.”
“I want to be with you, and that’s enough. You’re giving me that.”
“Not what I mean. I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“I got that message. Really. But being in the same room with you, living with you—I want those things too.”
Jonah looked frankly puzzled. “You do?”
Of all things, Trey felt himself smile. Because he’d surprised his lover who was not at this moment his lover. And because it was true. “Of course I do.”

Chapter Eighteen
    One week after Trey departed for the second time that winter, he clomped back into the house in the middle of the afternoon. Here Jonah had been gearing himself up for a long haul, telling himself not to expect Trey back till spring or summer, if that, and Trey was standing in front of him, literally steaming.
“Overdressed?” Jonah ventured once he managed to stop staring.
    Trey threw him a quick smile. His smiles were rare, mostly because Jonah didn’t want them to work their charm on him, and Trey didn’t smile without some encouragement. Usually. “It’s pretty mild out for February.”
    He stripped off the winter gear until he stood in long underwear and Jonah had to work at not observing the powerful body beneath the thin material. Trey was forty-four now, his birthday had been in January—not that they’d celebrated—and he was the fittest man Jonah had ever met.
    Dammit, he felt shy and awkward, and he didn’t want to feel that way, for all kinds of reasons. “Brought you some more textbooks.” Trey actually sounded excited. It was something, for Trey to be excited on Jonah’s behalf, and he found himself wondering again why Trey tried so hard for him. Anyone else would have been long gone.
Trey would be gone, Jonah reminded himself. He had people to protect. “How’s Ira?”
“He’s good, apparently. I didn’t go see them. I just phoned, talked to everyone, including a couple of wolves who’ve been scouting out areas for me. I also bought a satellite phone and went to a university bookstore.”
Jonah got stuck on university bookstore . Trey had gone there for him.
“Takes that long to get in and out when you’re walking,” Trey