Magic Graves

Suddenly I could breathe and the building no longer seemed in imminent danger of collapsing and burying me alive.
    I grabbed the head, tossed it into the elevator, dragged the body in there, sent the whole thing to the ground floor, sprinted back inside, and locked the door, reactivating the ward. The whole thing took five seconds.
    On the floor, Saiman lay unmoving. I checked his pulse. Breathing. Good. I went back to the island. I deserved some coffee after this and I bet Saiman stocked the good stuff.

    *** *** ***

    I sat by the counter, sipping the best coffee I'd ever tasted, when the big screen TV on the wall lit up with fuzzy glow. Which was more than a smidgeon odd, considering that the magic was still up and the TV shouldn't have worked.
    I took my coffee and my saber and went to sit on the couch, facing the TV. Saiman still sprawled unconscious on the floor.
    The glow flared brighter, faded, flared brighter... In ancient times people used mirrors, but really any somewhat reflective surface would do. The dark TV screen was glossy enough.
    The glow blazed and materialized into a blurry male. In his early twenties, dark hair, dark eyes.
    The man looked at me. "You're the bodyguard." His voice carried a trace of Russian accent.
    I nodded and slipped into Russian. " Yes."
    "I don't know you. What you do makes no difference to me. We have this place surrounded. We go in in an hour. " He made a short chopping motion with his hand. " You're done."
    "I'm shaking with fear. In fact, I may have to take a minute to get my shivers under control. " I drank my coffee.
    The man shook his head. "You tell that paskuda, if he let Yulya go, I'll make sure you both walk out alive. You hear that? I don't know what he's got over my wife, but you tell him that. If he wants to live, he has to let her go. I'll be back in thirty minutes. You tell him. "
    The screen faded.
    And the plot thickens. I sighed and nudged Saiman with my boot. It took a couple of nudges, but finally he groaned and sat up.
    "What happened?"
    "You fell."
    "Really? What did I fall into?"
    "My fist."
    "That explains the headache." Saiman looked at me. "This will never happen again. I want to be absolutely clear. Attempt this again and you're fired."
    I wondered what would happen if I knocked him out again right there, just for kicks.
    "Is that my arabica coffee?" he asked.
    I nodded. "I will even let you have a cup if you answer my question."
    Saiman arched an eyebrow. "Let? It's my coffee."
    I saluted him with the mug. "Possession is nine-tenths of the law."
    He stared at me incredulously. "Ask."
    "Are you holding a woman called Yulya hostage?"
    Saiman blinked.
    "Her husband is very upset and is offering to let us both go if we can produce Yulya for him. Unfortunately, he's lying and most likely we both would be killed once said Yulya is found. But if you're holding a woman hostage, you must tell me now."
    "And if I was?" Saiman rubbed his jaw and sat in the chair opposite me.
    "Then you'd have to release her immediately or I would walk. I don't protect kidnappers and I take a very dim view of violence toward civilians, men or women."
    "You're a bewildering woman."
    "Saiman, focus. Yulya?"
    Saiman leaned back. "I can't produce Yulya. I am Yulya."
    I suppose I should've seen that coming. "The man was under the impression he's married to her. What happened to the real Yulya?"
    "There was never a real Yulya. I will tell you the whole story, but I must have coffee. And nutrients."
    I poured him a cup of coffee. Saiman reached into the fridge and came up with a gallon of milk, a solid block of chocolate, and several bananas.
    Chocolate was expensive as hell. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had some. If I survived this job, I'd buy a couple of truffles.
    I watched Saiman load bananas and milk into a manual blender and crank the handle, cutting the whole thing into a coarse mess. Not the chocolate, not the chocolate... Yep, threw it in there too. What a waste.
    He poured the concoction into a two quart jug and began chugging it. Shapeshifters did burn a ton of calories. I sighed, mourning the loss of the chocolate, and sipped my coffee. "Give."
    "The man in question is the son of Pavel Semyonov. He's the premier volhv in the Russian community here. The boy's name is Evgenii and he's completely right, I did marry him, as Yulya, of course. The acorn was very well guarded and I needed a way in."
    "Unbelievable."
    Saiman smiled. Apparently he thought I'd paid him a