Marriage by Mistake

Whatever it was, it had been illogical, unreasonable.
    Sure, he'd expected Kelly's feelings for him to change, but not in the span of a single day. At the mountain resort, Kelly had agreed to stay in the marriage. Two days later she'd walked out the door. Now Dean had to consider what he'd done during those two days to make that happen.
    He sucked in his lips as he remembered. He'd told her he didn't believe the marriage was going to last. He'd basically told Kelly the marriage was over. She'd simply taken him at his word.
    Dean frowned as he watched dawn stealing over western Massachusetts. No, it hadn't been so simple. She'd...argued. What had she said?
    He shook his head and frowned harder, but he couldn't remember. At any rate, he hadn't listened. And so she'd left.
    Now the issue was to decide if he meant what he'd told Kelly. Did he consider the marriage over? Did he want it to be over?
    Dean felt a shudder run through him. No, he didn't want it to be over. Being utterly, painfully honest with himself, he wanted his marriage to Kelly to last his entire lifetime. He wanted to stay with her always, to grow old together, even to have kids.
    It was only that he couldn't believe it could happen. He was inadequate in so many ways; behind Kelly emotionally, unexciting, stodgy... Even if they hadn't had this big blow-up, surely she'd have come to see all his deficiencies, eventually. One day her love would dry up. She'd chafe and want to leave. Dean scowled and rubbed the back of his neck. Perhaps there was no point to this little trip, after all.
    Do what you want instead of what you should .
    Dean jerked up his head. Where had that come from?
    You're just full of excuses, aren't you? And none of them are going to get you what you want .
    Dean lowered his hand from his neck. Apparently the words were coming from inside his own head.
    His heart began to beat hard. Do what you want instead of what you should. Without having to get knocked unconscious, he was considering the idea.
    What do you have to lose ?
    Dean drummed his fingers on the armrest. He knew what he had to lose. Safety, security, the certainty of what his life was going to hold, empty though it might be.
    Playing video games until two in the morning.
    In short, nothing...and everything. Everything he had ever known.
    What do you want, Dean ?
    Dean closed his eyes. What did he want? What the hell did he really, deep down want?
    He didn't open his eyes again until the plane began its descent into Las Vegas' McCarran Airport. By then, he knew.

    CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

    It was the oddest thing. Despite how Dean didn't measure up as a husband, despite how he was so incredibly deficient, Kelly missed him. She missed him something awful.
    There were days she was so far gone she wanted to go back to him.
    Oh, she was in bad shape. She wasn't the strong, assertive woman she'd wanted to become. On the contrary, it took every ounce of will power Kelly possessed to resist doing something stupid.
    The girls wanted to make the crumb cake for her again. Kelly thanked them, but declined. "He wasn't a crumb," she told them. She repeated the sentiment to her friend Valerie, as they sat at a bar table drinking Perriers in the casino after workout that day.
    Dark-haired and exotic, Valerie pursed her lips and appeared doubtful.
    Kelly drummed her fingers on the marble table top, thinking how to put it. "He wasn't bad, just wounded. Too wounded."
    "Funny. You look like the wounded one."
    Kelly shook her head and laughed without humor. "I'll bet Dean is looking a heck of a lot worse than I am."
    "Well, I certainly hope so," Valerie replied with a huff.
    Kelly blinked. I don't .
    Valerie leaned over the little table. Her dark-eyed gaze got suspicious. "Have you seen a lawyer yet, Kelly?"
    A lawyer? Kelly thought. What for? Then she realized: the divorce. "I will," she said, feeling her cheeks flush. "Just give me some time, all right?"
    Valerie shook her head. "Hopeless. Kelly, you're hopeless."
    "Hey. I left him, didn't I?"
    "In body," Valerie sighed. "But not in soul."
    Kelly didn't have anything to say to that. It was too true. On the one hand, she knew she'd done the right thing. The marriage would never work. But on the other hand, she couldn't get past the feeling they belonged together. Oh, it was crazy.
    She came home from practice and her conversation with Valerie feeling more tired and sore than usual. Despite trying to keep in shape while she'd been gone, it had been