Marriage by Mistake

sexual experience that had not been shared as the same wonderful, enriching thing by both parties. Dean hadn't been into it— Kelly suddenly remembered a moment when his tongue had— No. She stopped herself with a vigorous shake of the head. Despite that tongue thing, Dean hadn't been into it the way she had. He'd been...coerced.
    She turned onto her other side. Meanwhile the grandfather clock in the hall tolled out eleven times.
    Twelve tolled out and Kelly was still tossing. When she heard a single chime, she wrestled the sheets to switch on the bedside lamp. Sleep was obviously a losing proposition. Maybe she should read a book or watch TV.
    Or get a head-start and pack.
    Kelly was just swinging her legs over the edge of the bed when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She halted, certain she couldn't have heard any such thing. It was one in the morning. Who'd be knocking on her door?
    But she heard it again, a definite knock. Discreet but determined.
    She reached for her wrap on the end of the bed. Maybe it was the maid. Who knew? A place like this, a little tap on the door was probably how they announced a fire. Tying the sash around her waist, Kelly opened the door.
    Dean stood outside in the hall.
    Kelly's heart took a strangled leap. What in the—? How —? She had to be the last person in the world Dean would want to see, and yet there he stood outside her bedroom door, his jaw shadowed with beard and his eyes haunted.
    "I saw your light on," he said.
    Her heart pounding now, Kelly explained, "I only just turned it on."
    He sighed. "I know. I've been standing out here— Listen, could we talk?"
    "Talk?"
    Dark eyes rose to meet hers. "If you don't mind."
    "Well, um." Kelly's pounding heart began to beat harder. "Uh, sure. I don't mind."
    Dean lowered his lashes. "Never have I behaved so awkwardly with a woman."
    "Oh," Kelly breathed. " No. You weren't— I mean, you were just being honest. And I appreciated that. Really, I did."
    He raised his lashes and his eyes seemed to blaze at her. Kelly wilted, but knew she'd feel much better if she could get the whole thing off her chest. "I forced myself on you." Her voice cracked. "It was greed, really. I just wanted— Well, anyway, I am so, so sorry."
    Dean's eyes fairly burned. Kelly barely managed to remain upright under that awful glare.
    "Sorry," he finally said. It was a harsh whisper. "You're sorry."
    She started to tremble. He sounded even angrier than she'd imagined he might.
    "Kelly." He stepped toward her. "Kelly." His hands closed on her shoulders. "You really aren't— I mean, I always thought—" With a frustrated hiss, he shook his head. " I'm the one who is sorry. What you did, then how I behaved— I couldn't be more ashamed of myself if I'd whipped you." His lips pressed together as he released her. "Which, in a manner of speaking I did."
    Kelly stared up into his face, confused. "What? You didn't whip—"
    "Kelly."
    "You didn't—"
    He put a finger against her lips.
    Kelly was afraid to say anything then. He certainly looked...adamant. At the same time she knew she was the one at fault. He wouldn't have been 'awkward' with her if she hadn't put him in such a position.
    Dean lowered his finger from her lips. "Listen. After we parted this evening I started to think about it, about everything, from the very beginning. And I—" His brows drew down. "I came to the conclusion I've misunderstood you."
    "I don't know about that."
    Dean gave a harsh laugh. " I do. I have not given you the benefit of the doubt, to put it mildly. And I'm sure that's part of why I...exploded this afternoon."
    "Lost control," Kelly murmured.
    "Exactly." Dean's steady gaze shifted. "I wouldn't have done that if I'd been seeing you clearly."
    "Mm," Kelly said.
    Dean swore under his breath. "That didn't come out the way I intended."
    "No, no. I think I get what you mean."
    "You don't. What I mean is—is—"
    "You wouldn't have slept with me if you'd been seeing me clearly."
    Dean opened his mouth. He shut it again. His face was the picture of consternation before he laughed. "You think I'd only have wound up in bed with you if I thought you were bad?"
    Kelly blinked a few times. "Well, um—" His logic was escaping her. Or perhaps it was her own logic that was failing. Had he thought she was bad ? "Still, one way or another, you didn't want to," she insisted.
    Dean's eyebrows flew upward. "One could almost imagine you weren't even there, Kelly."

"Well, I..." She felt