Me

feel the need to look back and observe the path that has led me to where I am, so that the future that lies ahead can be as luminous and truthful as possible.

    MY GIVEN NAME is Enrique Martin Morales, but most people know me as Ricky Martin: musician, singer, composer, philanthropist, and some might also know I’m an actor. And I am all of those things; but I am also a lot more. The people closest to me know me as “Kiki” (a nickname that comes from Enrique), and aside from being an artist I am also a son, a brother, a friend—and most recently, a father. For so long I tried to keep those parts of my life completely separate: When I am onstage or in front of the cameras, I am “Ricky”; but in private I am “Kiki,” a man who each day confronts the challenges of life, just like everybody else. While most people reading this book have a clear sense of who I am as an artist, there is a fundamental part of me that very few really know.
    Today, after all that I have lived and the many experiences I have been through, I realize that it isn’t fair to separate “Kiki” from “Ricky.” They are one and the same. It has taken me some time to understand this, and although I used to believe that the best thing would be to hide my personal life and the essence of who I am, now I hold the full conviction that my true happiness lies in living my life freely, without any fears or false pretexts. It has been a gradual process. I can’t say exactly when the realization hit me, but I do know that I got to the point where I could no longer live without facing my truth. This is why I have chosen to finally end the secret that I have carefully guarded for so many years: I have decided to tell the world that I accept my homosexuality and celebrate this gift that life has given me.
    Now I feel strong. Free. More free than ever.
    Many people probably believe that my life can be broken down into two periods: before and after “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Or maybe there are some who think my life is divided between the before and after of my revelation, and the truth is that this is completely understandable, because until now, that’s more or less all I have really shared about myself. And though I won’t deny the fact that “Livin’ La Vida Loca” was a critical moment in my life, I can guarantee that there were many others equally as important to me. There are also the before and after of Menudo, the before and after of my first trip to India, and the before and after of becoming a father. . . . They have all been unique experiences that have impacted me profoundly and altered the way I navigate life. And I hope— I know —that there are many more such moments still to come.
    Just like everyone else, I have had to walk down my own spiritual path and live through my experiences—the good and the bad, the love and the lack of love, the sense of feeling lost and then finding myself—to arrive at where I am today. Before I could begin to answer the endless questions that were constantly asked of me, I needed to face myself. Of course, some might say I should have done this many years ago, but in the deepest part of my being, I am certain that the moment is now, because that is how it was always meant to be. It is only now that I am ready, and it is only now that I can do it—not one day earlier or one day later.
    The process of writing this memoir has not been easy. It has demanded a lot from me—above and beyond what I expected. I’ve had to tie up loose ends that I’d never attempted to tie up before, to work deeply into memories that were already erased from my mind, and to find answers to very difficult questions; but above all else . . . above everything, I have finally had to accept myself. I have had to bare myself utterly and completely to see myself exactly as I am. I discovered things that I liked—and others not as much. And it was precisely the things I didn’t like so much that I became intent on remedying from the moment I became conscious of them. I would have never imagined that writing this book would lead me to where it has; however, today I know that I am a better man—and a happier man—because of what I have learned about myself throughout the process.
    I wanted to say a lot in these pages, but I wanted to do it with humility and dignity, focusing on the experiences that have helped shape me. More than an autobiography, this book is a testament of my spiritual beliefs, an account of the