Mean Woman Blues

LeDoux were still waiting for “Joe” when Hagerty called on the cell phone. Her voice was excited. “I got lucky. I mean, real lucky. When I got to the brother’s house— you know, the antique dealer’s brother— these three guys were coming out looking like they were dressed for work. Manual labor kind of work. Got in a van registered to a Joseph D’Amico. Is that your Joe?”
    “Yeah. Guess he’s not home. Could he be on his way?”
    “Uh-uh. I’m tailing him now. We’re on I-10, headed west.”
    “Stay with him. We’re on our way.”
    Skip hung up and said to LeDoux, “Hagerty thinks she’s got something. Want to take a ride?”
    LeDoux shrugged elaborately, barely able to contain his pent-up energy.
Ride, hell
, his body language said.
Fly’d be more like it
. He was oozing so much testosterone Skip could hardly stand to be in the car with him.
    She stomped on the accelerator and wove her way to I-10, hoping to hear from Hagerty again soon, trying to keep her own pulse rate down.
    If these were their guys, they might be onto something big. Maybe they were going to Lake Lawn Metairie Cemetery. And if so, they’d be there soon. It was just on the outskirts of the parish.
    Impatient, LeDoux radioed Hagerty. “Where are they?”
    “They’re there, kids.” Her voice was triumphant. “They’re rolling into Lake Lawn Metairie right now. I can’t follow any more or they’ll make me. I’m going to wait for you at the entrance.”
    “Damn!” LeDoux said. “Damn!” He was like a dog straining at a leash.
It must have killed him
, Skip thought,
not to be driving
. But a little smile flickered on his lips and what he said surprised her. “I got an idea. Let’s stop and get some flowers.”
    She got it instantly. “Got a better one. Let’s, you know, borrow some from that huge mausoleum.”
    He chortled, “All right!” Truth to tell, the man was enjoying his work so much it was contagious. Skip reached for the radio. “Hagerty, you there?”
    “I’m here.”
    “What are you wearing?”
    “Hey, I’m way ahead of you. Perfectly acceptable grave-visiting threads.”
    “Okay, proceed to the All Saints Mausoleum— remember that huge one?— and liberate a lovely bouquet.”
    “Woo. Good thinking.”
    Hagerty sounded as excited as LeDoux.
    The mausoleum was in the northeast quadrant of the cemetery, quite a distance from the older section, with its desirable artworks, but for that reason, it would make an excellent meeting place. Inside, they knew from their previous explorations, were hundreds and hundreds of vases and urns full of silk flowers. (Signs strictly forbidding plastic ones were posted prominently.)
    Hagerty could take one blossom from each of ten or fifteen vases and nobody’s relative would miss his funeral tribute. Maybe the dead would even approve the small theft in the service of catching grave robbers.
    Skip and LeDoux found her holding her bouquet like a bride, practicing looking mournful. “I take it,” she said, “I’m the point person?”
    “It has to be you,” Skip said. “LeDoux’ll stand out, and if these guys don’t know my face, they haven’t been watching the tube.” She looked at her notes from the day of the field trip. “Okay, the old part’s the south side, east to west the entire width of the cemetery. Hey, here’s something: The best stuff’s on Avenue A through O.”
    “That’s where they’ll be,” LeDoux said.
    “Okay,” Skip said. “Got a camera?”
    “No.”
    “I do.” She opened her trunk and took it out. “Fully loaded. You might not be able to get close enough, but here it is. Ready?”
    “Ready. I’m just going to walk up the east side till I see them. If I hear them first, I’ll know they’re working close to that side and retrace my steps and cross over to the west to make sure they don’t hear me. I should have an unobstructed view from either side, and there’s plenty of stuff to hide behind.”
    “Including your bouquet.”
    Hagerty grinned. “Here I go to find Great Aunt Ethel.”
    Skip and LeDoux waited, discussing strategy. It was nearly ten minutes before Hagerty reached them on the radio. “We have a madonna theft in progress: Three grown men are huffing and puffing to get a four-foot lady off the ground. Would you care to bust ’em?”
    “Maybe not yet. Can you get pictures?”
    “I think so.”
    “Okay, get what you can. Danny and I aren’t inclined to let them rip up the whole cemetery, but