Mer Tales 01 - Everblue

with the best.”
    I smirked, suddenly remembering the time Dad came home from Natatoria with a limp. Badger was the one he was sparring with that day. “So I’ve heard.”
    Badger beat his hand on his tattooed chest, inked with obvious important issues of his past. “The Irish Republican Army is where I got me battle scars. But me thinks ye be needin’ some real home cookin’ to deal with yer homesickness. Sandy’s makin’ me somethin’ special tonight.” He looked left then right and whispered. “Somethin’ from me country.”
    “ How’d you get—?”
    “ Oh, I’ve got me ways. And with that air gizmo, it’ll be something to savor. Me mermaid’s an excellent cook.” He nodded and under his knobby beard, his lips pulled into a smile, revealing a gold incisor. My taste buds watered at the possibilities of what she’d make on a real stove in an oxygen-filled kitchen. “Now let’s get to sparrin’ so I can bring home that cup ‘o rubies fer me doll.”
    “ Oh, like that’s gonna happen.” I swam back and poised my tail, barbs out. “On guard.”
    Badge shot past me like a cannon, knocking me right into the coral. I shook my head and leveled myself.
    He floated above me and held his belly, howling. “Son, ya need to keep focused.” He grabbed my hand and yanked me off the seabed. “Get yer head out of yer arse and hold your fin up like this.”
    He positioned himself to show me how to hit my opponent by just bending at the waist and angling my tail for a faster hit. I copied his example.
    “ Aye, there ya go,” he said with more confidence. “Try again. But whatever ye do, don’t let me pass.”
    Badger rushed me, faster this time, and with ease promptly knocked me on my backside into the sea kelp. I spit out the sand and cursed under my breath.
    “ Now don’t start blubberin’ on me. You’ll get better. Keep yer eyes open. That was yer last freebee.”
    Freebee ?
    I growled. Part of me wanted to close-line him with my arm the next time he passed. But I was to learn the proper way to tail-duel, as stupid as it was. Shooting each other evil glares, we floated in the current for a moment, ten feet apart with challenging stances. I pawed my hand forward, inviting him to try it again. He gave me a nod. I smiled. This round would happen my way.
    Over his shoulder, though, I caught a glimpse of a girl with long auburn hair, holding a tray with something on top of it. A hint of honeysuckle infused the water around me.
    Ashlyn?
    I’d lost my preparation. Badger had already set off to retaliate and fire rushed up my fin, seizing my muscles. Then the world went hazy.
    : : :
    “ Sorry about earlier, laddy,” Badger said while relaxing on his moss-covered lounge chair, smoking his pipe and wriggling his hairy toes. The golden trophy stood on the tabletop in between us filled with a small fortune in rubies sparkling from within.
    I yanked my hand from my injuries, realizing I’d been massaging the spots where he’d stung me earlier. After our short practice, he really let loose and took me out on the first round. “Oh, it’s fine.”
    In the privacy of Badger’s air-filled home, he sat in his kilt and I in my board shorts, stretching our legs. We indulged in pints of freshly squeezed orange juice—though I suspected his had a little something extra added.
    Sunlight hit various mirrors staggered on the walls, allowing self-willed conversion from fin to feet. From the kitchen, like I’d hoped, onions and garlic simmered in some type of butter sauce and the delicious smell wafted into the cramped living space, making my mouth water.
    “ This is the secret, lad. Ya need to be watchin’ at all times. All it takes is one stupid moment ganderin’ some pretty lass’s tail and ZAP, yer a goner.” He laughed and scratched at his hairy belly before perching his hand into his beltline.
    The sting from his barb felt exactly like the electric shock I’d experienced when I was ten. After Dad and I had installed electrical lines in the basement for our entertainment center, he turned on the juice but I wasn’t finished taping the bare wire. My body still throbbed in memory of the pain.
    “ Who was that girl anyway?”
    “ That be Sandy’s niece, Lily. She’s a cutie and available, if yer askin’.”
    “ No-o,” I stuttered. “I—just—she looks like someone I know, that’s all.”
    “ Oh, I see.” He winked then relaxed his head back and made O rings with the smoke. “Ah, this is