Missing

maybe. But I do! Fuck, fuck, fuck !’
    He mother was backing away in the direction of the door. Now she was thinking of phoning the hospital. Clearly she had a madwoman in the house.
    ‘Oh, Mummy, why don’t you run away and phone? With any luck you’ll get rid of me once and for all.’
    Beatrice had pulled the door open.
    ‘Meanwhile I’ll eat all my vegetables. In case that child might be harmed if I didn’t.’
    Beatrice threw a last terrified glance in her direction and disappeared. When Sibylla heard her hurried steps down the stairs, she ran out on the landing. She watched her mother dash across the hall in the direction of Mr Forsenström’s study. Sibylla shouted after her.
    ‘You forgot to answer my question!’
    No response from downstairs.
    Sibylla went back and faced the food-tray. Boiled carrots and peas. She grabbed the plate in both hands and flung it into the waste-paper basket.
    Then she pulled out a suitcase and started packing.

S he woke when he opened the door. Before she had time to do anything, he had already got down the few steps and looked around before striding across the floor. He still hadn’t seen her.
    She was lying very still, watching him.
    Slight build, blond. Wire-rimmed spectacles.
    He stepped up on the small platform below the clock, bent forward and put his face against the clock-face. He stretched out his arms towards the perimeter and in the light falling in through the glass, he looked like a crucified figure of Jesus.
    Or Da Vinci’s Man. Though with aerials attached. It was two minutes before twelve.
    She scanned the attic, still motionless. There was a chance of reaching the door in time, but she would have to leave her things. He was standing in a dangerous position. If he lost his balance, he might fall out through the clock-face.
    The seconds passed. The longer of his head-aerials made one more forward jump. She hardly dared breathe, terrified of being discovered.
    Finally he lowered his arms. The next moment he turned and saw her. The sight scared him, she could see that. He was not only scared but also a little ashamed at having been seen. Neither of them said anything, but they kept staring at each other. His face was in the shade.
    How in the name of God would she get out of this? He didn’t look very strong. On no account must he be allowed to leave the attic before she had talked to him. She sat up slowly, figuring that it might look threatening if she stood up.
    ‘What are you doing?’
    Her tone had been hesitant. Although he didn’t answer at once, he seemed less tense.
    ‘Nothing special.’
    ‘No? It looked quite alarming from over here.’
    He shrugged his shoulders.
    ‘What about you? What are you doing here?’
    Good question. What am I doing here?
    ‘I was just … having a rest.’
    ‘Are you sleeping rough? Or something?’
    She smiled. Well, well – he went straight to the point. Usually people tried to avoid facing the misery.
    ‘It’s not so rough here as other places.’
    ‘Is it because you’re homeless? Like, with nowhere to live?’
    Why should she deny it? Anyway, there was no other reasonable explanation for her pres ence in the attic.
    ‘You could say that.’
    He stepped down from the platform.
    ‘That’s cool. I want to do that when I leave school.’
    He would like to do what ?
    ‘Why?’
    ‘Seems brilliant. No one asks you to do things or cares what you do.’
    True enough. At least that was one aspect of being ‘of no fixed abode’.
    ‘If that’s what you really want, there are better ways of going about getting it.’
    He grinned.
    ‘Tell me about it.’
    She still wasn’t sure that he was serious. Maybe he was just kidding her.
    ‘Are you a junkie as well?’
    ‘No, I’m not.’
    ‘I thought all you people were junkies. I mean, isn’t that why? That’s what my Mum says.’
    ‘Mums don’t know everything.’
    ‘Is that right?’
    He said that with a sneer. She could see that he was not scared any more. He came over to her and she got up.
    ‘Is this all you own?’
    ‘Yes.’
    He eyed the sleeping mat and the rucksack. She watched him examining her things. He actually looked quite impressed.
    ‘Dead cool.’
    It was strange to be regarded as a model being, just for once. Still, this was enough talking about her.
    ‘What are you doing here? Don’t you know the floor is in really bad shape?’
    ‘Yeah, live dangerously – help, help.’
    He showed how little he cared by jumping up and down