Mistborn #03 The Hero of Ages

nervous.
    This is it, she thought, flaring pewter to keep from shaking. It's finally happening. I finally get to dance with him!
    At that moment—as the music began—Elend reached into his pocket and pulled out a book. He raised it with one hand, the other on her waist, and began to read.
    Vin's jaw dropped, then she whacked him on the arm. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded as he shuffled through the dance steps, still holding his book. "Elend! I'm trying to have a special moment here!"
    He turned toward her, smiling with a terribly mischievous grin. "Well, I want to make that special moment as authentic as possible. I mean, you are dancing with me, after all."
    "For the first time!"
    "All the more important to be certain that I make the right impression, Miss Valette!"
    "Oh, for . . . Will you please just put the book away?"
    Elend smiled more deeply, but slid the book back into his pocket, taking her hand and dancing with her in a more proper manner. Vin flushed as she saw the confused crowd standing around the dance floor. They obviously had no idea what to make of Elend's behavior.
    "You are a barbarian," Vin told him.
    "A barbarian because I read books?" Elend said lightly. "That's one that Ham will have a great time with."
    "Honestly," Vin said, "where did you even get a book here?"
    "I had one of Yomen's servants fetch it for me," Elend said. "From the keep library. I knew they'd have it— Trials of Monument is a rather famous work."
    Vin frowned. "Do I recognize that title?"
    "It was the book that I was reading that night on the Venture balcony," Elend said. "The time we first met."
    "Why, Elend! That's almost romantic—in a twisted 'I'm going to make my wife want to kill me' sort of way."
    "I thought you'd appreciate it," he said, turning lightly.
    "You're in rare form tonight. I haven't seen you like this for quite some time."
    "I know," he said, sighing. "To be honest, Vin, I feel a bit guilty. I'm worried that I was too informal during my conversation with Yomen. He's so stiff that my old instincts—the ones that always made me respond to people like him with mockery—came out."
    Vin let him lead the dance, looking up at him. "You're just acting like yourself. That's a good thing."
    "My old self didn't make a good king," Elend said.
    "The things you learned about kingship didn't have to do with your personality, Elend," Vin said. "They had to do with other things—about confidence, and about decisiveness. You can have those things and still be yourself."
    Elend shook his head. "I'm not sure I can. Certainly, tonight, I should have been more formal. I allowed the setting to make me lax."
    "No," Vin said firmly. "No, I'm right about this, Elend. You've been doing the exact thing I have. You've been so determined to be a good king that you've let it squish who you really are. Our responsibilities shouldn't have to destroy us."
    "They haven't destroyed you," he said, smiling behind his short beard.
    "They nearly did," Vin said. "Elend, I had to realize that I could be both people—the Mistborn of the streets and the woman of the court. I had to acknowledge that the new person I'm becoming is a valid extension of who I am. But for you, it's opposite! You have to realize that who you were is still a valid part of you. That person makes silly comments, and does things just to provoke a reaction. But, he's also lovable and kindhearted. You can't lose those things just because you're emperor."
    He got that look in his face, the thoughtful one, the one that meant he was going to argue. Then, however, he hesitated.
    "Coming to this place," he said, looking at the beautiful windows and watching the nobility, "it's reminded me of what I spent most of my life doing. Before I had to be a king. Even then, I was trying to do things my way—I went off and read during balls. But, I didn't do it away in the library, I did it in the ballroom. I didn't want to hide, I wanted to express discontent with my father, and reading was my way."
    "You were a good man, Elend," Vin said. "Not an idiot, as you now seem to think that you were. You were a little undirected, but still a good leader. You took control of Luthadel and stopped the skaa from committing a slaughter in their rebellion."
    "But then, the whole Penrod fiasco . . ."
    "You had things to learn," Vin said. "Like I did. But, please don't become someone else, Elend. You can be both Elend the emperor and Elend the man."
    He smiled deeply, then pulled