Montana Sky

he had me, I knew you’d come. That’s one of the reasons I got through it. And I fought back.”
    She looked at her sisters. They, too, had to know how much it mattered. “I fought back and I held on just as you would have done. He had the gun, and he was stronger, but he didn’t have control. Not really. Because I didn’t give up. I drove into that tree. To slow him down, to make it harder for him.”
    “Oh, Lily.” Undone, Tess sat down and began to weep. “Oh, God.”
    “And when he tied my hands, I kept falling down.” A calm settled over her now, a calm that came from surviving the worst. “Because that would slow him down too. I knew he wouldn’t kill me. He’d hurt me, but he wouldn’t kill me.But then it was so cold, and I couldn’t fight back anymore. But I held on.”
    Saying nothing, Willa walked over, poured a glass of water, and brought it to Tess. Lily took a deep breath. She would finish now, say it all, everything that hadn’t been said.
    “I thought he might rape me, and I could survive that. He’d done it before. But he wasn’t in control this time, and he was afraid. Every bit as much as I was, maybe more. When we got to the cave, I was so tired, and I knew I was sick. Nothing he did to me then would have mattered because all I had to do was get through it. And get back here.”
    She walked to the window, looked out. And gathering her strength because she had gotten back, she had made it through, she turned around once more. “He had whiskey, and I took some because I thought it might help. He drank a lot. I fell asleep, or passed out, listening to him drinking and boasting, just like he used to. I listened to the whiskey sloshing in the bottle, and in part of my mind I thought he might get drunk enough, just drunk enough, and I might be strong enough, just strong enough, to get away. Then someone came.”
    She crossed her arms over her chest, hugged her elbows. “It’s not clear.” If any part of the ordeal still frightened her, it was this. The nebulous, fever-soaked memories. “I must have had a fever by then and I suppose I was delirious. I thought it was you,” she told Adam. “I thought I was home, in bed, and you were coming in, sliding in next to me. I could almost feel it. And feeling it, I fell asleep again, and slept while whoever was there killed Jesse and cut the rope on my hands. I was only a few feet away, but—”
    That quick, high-pitched scream that had snapped off. She could still hear it if she let herself. “When I woke up,” she continued, steadily, “Jesse’s coat was over me. There was blood on it, all over it. So much blood. I saw him. The light was just coming in through the opening of the cave, and I could see him. Seeing Jesse like that was worse somehow than when he’d held the gun to my head. The need to get away from him was worse. Every time I took a breath, Ibreathed in the smell of him, and what had been done to him while I’d been a few feet away, sleeping. And I was more frightened in those few moments than I’d been through all the rest of it.”
    She stepped forward, just one step, toward Adam. “But then I crawled out into the sunlight, and you were there. You were there when I needed you most. And I knew you would be.”
    Purged, she walked over, poured a glass of water for herself. “I’m sorry I shouted at all of you. I know everything you’ve done was out of concern. But I need to take my life back now. I need to go on.”
    “You should’ve yelled sooner.” Composed again, Tess rose. “You’re right, Lily. You’re absolutely right about all of it. I got carried away planning things for you. I’m sorry. I’d have hated being shoved to the background this way.”
    “It’s all right. It’s been a bad habit of mine to let myself be shoved. And I might ask for help planting the rest of the garden.”
    “Maybe I should plant my own. I didn’t know I’d like it so much. I’ll be downstairs.” She started out, shot a telling glance at Willa.
    “If you want to start taking things back,” Willa said, nudging the papers with her foot. “You can start by picking these up and getting them out of here.” She smiled. “I don’t like hunting up printed cocktail napkins.”
    Taking a chance, she grasped Lily’s shoulders, leaned in close so that her whisper could be heard. “He’d have crawled through hell if that’s what it took to get you back. Don’t punish him for loving you too much.”
    Easing back,