Moonglass

laughing too, shaking his head. “Shit.”
    “Okay, okay.” I took a step, then turned around. “Where are you going?”
    “Home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood barefoot in the sand, holding his shoes and the flashlight.
    I didn’t move.
    He pointed at the light beams still making their way up the beach. “Go, or he’s gonna have Newport Beach PD out here looking for you.”
    “All right.” I smiled. “I’m going.”
    I turned, then glanced back to see Tyler, in the lights of the dirt road, making his way slowly onto the beach behind me, to where he would take the road up to his car. I looked around. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, I found the water’s edge and broke into a run.
    I couldn’t remember ever having run at night. It was a different sensation altogether. I wasn’t conscious of my breathing or steps at all. Just the sounds of the night as I passed them by—a wave crashing, the voices and clinking of silverware that drifted down from the restaurant, and the literall symphony of frogs in the creek bed I had heard the night we’d arrived.
    I kept my eyes on the headlights as they rounded a point and then disappeared into the cove south of our house, right as I reached the bottom of our steps. I took two at a time, then all in one motion I burst through the door, flipped on the light, and threw myself into the green chair, swooping up my book on the way down. Light splashed onto the sand in front of our house, followed by the low hum of my dad’s engine working its way over the dips and hill s.
    He slowed the truck and flashed his spotlight up at the living room window. I sat up in the chair and waved enthusiastically, and he cruised right on by, continuing his patrol of the beach.
    I exhaled loudly, leaned my head back on the chair, and replayed the kiss, over and over, until my breathing returned to normal. Tyler was interested. And an amazing kisser. Definitely worth missing the party for. Smiling, I snuggled down into his sweatshirt and rolled my head over to the side so I could look out the window. But I stopped abruptly when I found myself staring straight at my mom’s cottage. The windows were dark, but not boarded up like the ones in the Carter Cottage. In one spot the fence leaned enough so that a person could just step right over it and find their way to the door, which was probably unlocked. I sat for a moment, wondering what it would be like to step inside it, just to see if there was anything left of her there.
    I shivered and sat up, flipped to the first page of the book in my lap, and felt in my chest that same heavy sinking feeling when I read the opening sentences.
    All sea goddesses inherit the sea’s qualities. Just as the sea can be gentle and nurturing, or violent and deadly, so can they. They are at once beautiful and cruel, tender and selfish, vulnerable, yet unattainable. Above all, they offer shimmering glimpses into the deep ocean of secrets that is a woman’s heart .
    My mother had always been a mystery to me, even when she was alive. She’d been all those things, all at once, and we’d tiptoed around her even then.
    And now, here, she’d stirred up the placid surface of my life and thrown me into rough, dark water—a deep ocean of secrets.
    I couldn’t tell anyone I was flailing.

CHAPTER 18
    “Wake up, sunshine. We’re goin’ surfin’. Your board’s in the bus, coffee’s made, and we leave in five minutes.” I pulled my covers up over my head.
    “I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s good out there.”
    “Where are we going?” I mumbled.
    “South parking lot. Ab Rock. You know the place, I’m pretty sure.” I could hear the smiling sarcasm in my dad’s voice. Apparently enough time had passed that we could now joke about my misadventures. I waited for his feet to pad away down the hall, and replayed kissing Tyler for the millionth time before I got out of bed. I hadn’t dreamed it. It had really happened.
    A few minutes later I was pouring enough cream into my coffee to make it the same color as the sand outside. I didn’t much like to drink it, but I did like the feel of the warm cup in my hand as we drove down the highway and then stood on the cliff, checking the surf. Nobody else was out yet, and the sun sparkled on the water, inviting us to be the first ones. My dad put his hand on the back of my neck and squeezed. “Seems like I haven’t seen you all week. It’ll be nice to get out there