My Butterfly

then being pulled back by a set of plastic tubes.
    My words came out hoarse, and suddenly, I noticed my head wasn’t fairing much better.
    “Will,” she said, turning to me and then rushing over to my side.
    She moved, and then all of a sudden, there were way too many people in the tiny room. I noticed the fire captain first, and then I froze.
    “You took a little fall,” the captain said.
    I forced my eyelids over my eyes, and slowly, the memory came back to me. It was fuzzy and blurry, but it was there.
    “You saved me,” I finally said to the captain.
    He smiled, gently.
    “You saved the dog,” he said.
    A half-smile eventually found its way to my face.
    “Just, uh, let’s not make it that close next time,” the captain said, giving me a wink.
    My mouth turned up a little more at its corners, and then my eyes fell to the white sheets that I was covered in.
    Julia grabbed my hand and forced it around hers and into her lap. I watched her intertwine her fingers in mine before I met her stare. Her eyes were so sad, and suddenly, I remembered the last words she had said to me before I had left her. And then it hit me—I hadn’t been careful.
    “Jules,” I started to say.
    She shook her head, stopping me, as her eyes started to fill with tears again.
    “Jules,” I said again. “I’m okay. I’m fine.”
    She was still shaking her head; a stream of liquid was now rolling down her cheeks. I reached up and brought her closer to me.
    “Will, I can’t do this…,” I heard her start to mumble into my chest.
    “What, babe?” I asked her.
    She was quiet except for the sniffles.
    I squeezed her tighter and stroked her pretty, long hair.
    “It’s okay, Jules,” I said. “I’m okay.”
    I took in a deep breath and then slowly let it out.
    “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I whispered again, closer to her ear. “Everything’s okay.”

Chapter Thirteen
    Cold
     
     
    “H ey,” she said.
    I switched the phone to my other ear. It had been a couple of weeks, but I felt as if I could still hear the cracking and the popping of that fire in one ear.
    “Hey. How was your day?” I asked.
    “Same old, same old,” she softly replied. “How was yours?”
    “You know, pretty much the same too,” I said, as I kicked off, first, one shoe and then the other. “I had to get to class early because…”
    I stopped. There was something off in her voice.
    “Is something wrong, Jules?” I asked.
    There was a pause. Pauses like that weren’t ever good.
    “It’s just that…I can’t…,” she started and then stopped.
    I waited for her to finish. Instead, there was silence.
    “You can’t what?” I asked.
    I heard her take a breath.
    “I just feel like we’ve grown apart,” she said.
    Her sentence was straight and to the point, and it completely derailed me.
    “What?” I asked.
    “I know that sounds really cliché, but I don’t know how else to say it,” she said.
    I felt my heart momentarily take a break in my chest. Then, I took in a deep breath and then slowly let out a sigh.
    “Jules, I know it’s been hard, but…,” I started to say but then let my words trail off.
    “It has,” she said.
    There was another moment where there was only silence before she continued. I had no words, so I just listened.
    “It’s just that I’ve been busy with track,” she said, “and you’re doing your training, and when we do finally see each other, I feel like you aren’t really even that excited, and…”
    “Jules, is this about our anniversary?” I interrupted. “Jules, I’m really sorry, and it wasn’t my intention to have us spend it in a hospital…”
    “No, Will,” she said.
    Her words were soft and sincere.
    “This is not about that,” she said and then paused. “It is, but it’s not.”
    My eyebrows darted to the center of my forehead. I could see them staring back at me now in the mirror as I started to take in shorter, shallower breaths.
    “What?” I asked.
    “It’s nothing,” she said. “It’s just…It seems like it’s a chore for you.”
    “What seems like a chore?” I asked.
    “Us, Will,” she said.
    Her replies were getting shorter and shorter.
    “I don’t fit into your life anymore,” she continued.
    “Jules,” I softly said and then stopped. “Jules, that’s not true, and I’m always excited to see you. I’m just tired sometimes.”
    I took in another deep breath and then let it slowly escape past my lips before I continued.
    “You don’t have to