My Butterfly

time since Jules when we were sixteen. I counted the years quickly in my head. It was only three, but it felt like an eternity. She wore black on our first, real date—jeans and a tight, black top. God, I still remembered everything about it.
    I glanced at a clock on a wall in the kitchen. Its loud ticking drew my attention. Eight o’clock. I touched my fingers to my palms. They felt sweaty or something, and I realized that I wasn’t nervous because of Jessica. I was nervous because I really had a bad, sick feeling about this whole, stupid idea. I should have never let Jeff talk me into it. Julia was going to hate it, and she was going to hate me for it.
    “Okay, I’m ready,” Jessica said, emerging from the back room. “You look nice.”
    I paused for a second in mid-thought and then awkwardly smiled.
    “Thanks. So do you,” I said.
    She was wearing a short, red dress—snug in all the right places. She really did look nice. And if I weren’t already obsessed with a fiery, little blonde, I realized then that I might actually really like Jessica.
    “Ready?” she asked, grabbing a coat from a tall coat rack behind the door.
    “Yeah,” I said and smiled.
    Then, I lowered my face closer to hers.
    “Does your roommate want to come?” I asked.
    I watched Jessica’s eyes travel back to the girl on the couch. The girl met Jessica’s gaze and shot her an impatient look.
    “I’ve tried,” Jessica said. “She says it’s too cold to go outside in a dress.”
    I paused and shrugged my shoulders.
    “She’s probably right,” I said, cracking a wide grin.
    Jessica giggled and then slid her arms into her coat and reached for the doorknob.
    “Bye, Sam,” Jessica called out over her shoulder.
    The girl on the couch looked up for a second, flicked her wrist and then went back to the sitcom on the television and to scratching the dog between its ears.
    I followed Jessica out the door and down the sidewalk, leading away from the little, brick house. When we reached the truck, I leaned around her to open her door. She smiled and then slid in. I was pretty sure I flashed her an awkward grin before gently closing the door behind her. I quickly shook it off and sucked in a cool breath of air, then made my way to the driver’s side.
    Once behind the wheel, I felt for the key in the ignition and then purred Lou to a start before I suddenly noticed Jules’s photo on the dashboard. I stole a quick glance at Jessica. She was searching for something inside of her purse. So, without a second thought, I hastily snatched up the photo, slid it into the inside pocket of my jacket and glanced back over at Jessica. She was still searching inside her purse.
    I took in a deep, nervous breath and then felt it quickly escape past my lips. Then, I forced the gear shift into first but kept my foot on the brake.
    “You sure you want to go to this party?” I asked her.
    Maybe there was still a way out of this mess. Maybe there was still a way for Julia not to see my dumb mistake.
    Jessica blankly stared back at me.
    “Isn’t everyone going to be there?” she asked.
    The look on her face told me that there was no getting out of this one. Jeff was right. She really did want to go to this party. And I guessed I couldn’t blame her. It really was the best New Year’s Eve party around here, and it was always only locals who were invited. And tonight, she would be a local.
    “Okay,” I said and then gently smiled.
    I took my foot off the brake and hit the gas.
    “To the party we go,” I said, taking in another deep, uneasy breath.
    ...
    It was only half past eight, but the rooms in the big, Victorian house were nearly full. If Kathy knew one thing, it was how to throw a party. Jules always used to say that Kathy was a sixteen-year-old going on thirty-six every time Kathy would invite us to one of her elaborate shindigs back in high school. The thought and the perfect, sarcastic way Jules always used to say it made me smile on the inside.
    “Will, I’m so pleased you could make it,” Kathy said, throwing her arms around me.
    “Wouldn’t miss it, Kath,” I said.
    Kathy pulled away and then quickly forced her attention to Jessica.
    “And who’s this?” Kathy asked in a pleasant voice.
    “Oh, sorry,” I said. “This is Jessica. Jessica, this is Kathy. And this is Kathy’s parents’ house,” I then said to Jessica.
    “Hi,” Kathy said, snatching up Jessica’s hand with both of hers. “I’m so glad you could make