My Everything

everything so tempting, but I don’t know if that’s enough. “What are you saying?”
    She steps closer, her chest pressing against mine. I wish it was light enough so I can see her face. See her expression. Her lips graze just below my chin. I can’t help but smile, she can’t reach me unless I bend over.
    Aubrey wraps her arms around me, resting her head on my chest. I do the same, resting my head on top of hers, and look out into the darkness. I wish life could be simple.
    “When I first started here I wasn’t sure I was going to stay. I had told my parents that I wanted to explore each village and find the best one for me. My mom expected me to return to South Africa and go to college for fashion design or something stupid like that. She was always saying I’d decorate before I healed. I had to prove her wrong.
    “The morning you walked in, I forgot to breathe. I choked on my own tongue. It’s not because you’re gorgeous and strikingly handsome, which in case you have any doubt, you absolutely are; it’s because of the way you carried yourself. You walked in like you were the leader and there to make a change. I was this new nurse and watched the others fawn all over you and you didn’t even recognize the attention you were getting.
    “I thought ‘wow, his wife is one lucky woman’ only to find out that you weren’t married. My hopes soared, but you wouldn’t talk to me. You were – still are – water cooler talk. The nurses, they adore you, and here I am in your arms trying to find a way to keep you. I don’t know if I believe in fate or fairytales, but the moment you walked into the clinic on my first day, I knew I was in trouble.
    “I want to try, if you do. You make all the ugly in this world seem just a bit better when I close my eyes at night and I’d be a fool to let you walk away because you don’t do casual.”
    I take in her words. They hit me square in the heart. But there is one question I need to know. I lean down and whisper, “Would you come back to the States with me?” I feel her reaction before she says the words. She starts nodding.
    “We were destined to meet, Nick. I have no doubt in my mind you were meant for me. If you want me to move back to the States with you, I’d gladly walk by your side into your next adventure.”
    I don’t wait another minute. I capture her lips with mine. In my heart, I know she’s speaking the truth. I can feel it. The loss is immediate when she pulls away.
    “Where are you going?”
    She holds my hands, extending our arms out wide. “Have you ever done anything spontaneous?”
    I try to pull her back to me. This is the only time we can touch and she’s just declared that she’ll follow me anywhere and now she’s standing too far away.
    I shrug. I can’t remember the last time I was spontaneous, aside from asking Josie to marry me.
    “Can’t say that I have,” I reply. I finally give up and drag her back toward the dorm. I can’t see her face and its driving me nuts. I stop us just outside of our residence. There is enough light that we can see each other when we talk. I like this better, although we’ll have to keep our voices down. “Now tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours.”
    Her grin is wicked with an evil little glint in her eyes. She’s up to something and I have a feeling I’m going to be on the receiving end whether I like it or not. I pull her to me, my hand cupping the back of her head, holding her to me as I kiss her deeply. The man in me wants to take her. Make her mine. The volunteer in me knows we have to abide by the rules. They are set that way to protect us. As much as I want to say screw it and take her back to my room, I know I can’t.
    “Marry me?”

Chapter 4
     
    “Why not, Josie? We live together. We are raising your son as our own. We celebrate holidays and birthdays as a family. Tell me why not after three years? Why don’t you want to marry me?”
    Josie looks at me with tears in her eyes. She wipes them angrily, smearing her make-up in the process. “I don’t know.”
    “That’s not a reason and you know it.” I kick my shoes off and head to her bedroom. I’m done calling it our bedroom. Clearly I’m in the wrong here, thinking we have something special.
    I stare into the closet and look at my clothes next to hers. I can’t stay here, not tonight. Not after this second rejection. My suitcase mocks me in the corner, reminding me that nothing in this house, aside from