My Everything

the patient and she’ll take care of the delivery. Aubrey strokes the young woman’s head, whispering to her. I don’t know what she’s telling her, but it seems to be working. She keeps her eyes locked on Aubrey the whole time, the two of them sharing something I’ll never understand and I’m okay with that. The mid-wife speaks to her and she listens. The pushing starts and within minutes the room is filled with the sweet sounds of a newborn.
    I take the baby from the mid-wife and start running the standard newborn tests making sure this precious baby is perfect. For the most part the baby looks healthy. I wash the little girl and hand her back to her mom. The bond is instant. Regardless of how this baby was conceived, she’s going to love her daughter.
    I’m exhausted when I enter the makeshift bathroom. I wash my hands and splash cold water on my face. The delivery took longer than expected. When I came here I didn’t know I’d be delivering babies, but I really couldn’t say no. I’m here to give my service to these people who need it.
    Aubrey enters. I can tell it’s her. My body is already reacting to her presence. Her hands find my back and they start massaging my shoulders. I close my eyes and stay still, allowing her to work some magic on my tight muscles. Her hands feel so good, her fingers working the stiff knots. I drop to my knees so she’s not reaching over me. She chuckles lightly, but moves behind me to finish the job. I roll my head from side to side as her fingers move into my hair.
    I can feel her breath on my neck. Her nose skimming along my jaw, she’s no longer massaging my neck. Her lips press against my neck. This isn’t how I wanted our first kiss to happen. Not at work, not after an intense delivery.
    I turn on my knees and face her. Her white blond hair is pulled back in a messy bun, a few loose strands framing her face. Her eyes glisten. I move the stray hair away from her face and cup her cheeks. I lean forward, kissing her lightly. I do it again with a bit more pressure. She gasps when my tongue runs along her lower lip. She grabs a fist full of my shirt and pulls me closer, which is my signal to stop.
    “We need to stop.”
    Her face falls and she releases my shirt. She moves back. “Oh, okay. I just thought—”
    I stand and pull her hand into mine. “No, you thought right. I just don’t think this is the place for us to… you know.”
    “Okay.”
    I pull her close, wrapping my arm around her waist. “Believe me when I say I want to kiss you and can’t wait to collect after dinner.” I kiss the top of her nose and walk out of the bathroom. I need to get away from her before lust takes over and I do something in that small room that I’ll regret.
    After work, I head back to the dorms. I need some time alone to think. Kissing Aubrey wasn’t a mistake, but throughout the day I started questioning myself. Am I ready for a relationship?
    What Josie and I had, it was real, at least for me and I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with another letdown. I can’t do causal. It’s not in my nature, so that’s out of the question. I suppose Aubrey and I need to sit down and discuss what we each want and make a decision from there. I can’t get hurt again. I just can’t.
    I meet Aubrey out in front of the dorms once the sun goes down. They keep us fairly segregated here, with men on one side of the dorm and woman on the other. Only married couples are allowed to share a room. They don’t encourage fraternization either, something we need to be cautious of. I know that I don’t want to get kicked out of the program.
    As soon as she’s out the door, I start walking toward the playground. This has been our date location since the first night. I know Aubrey owes me dinner, but we have more important things to discuss tonight.
    We sit in our respective swings, swaying back and forth. The air between us is thick and that is exactly why I didn’t want to kiss her at work today. I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us and now there is.
    “Josie, that’s my ex, I asked her to marry me something obnoxious like six times. Each time she’d say no until the last time I proposed. The only reason she said yes is because our friend had just died in a car accident. I was in the hospital when he was brought in. I was called into the emergency room to see a little girl who was having trouble breathing. When I finished with her, I saw Josie’s best friend in the