My Man Jeeves

connection in the kid's mind between his line and the sweets. Once he has grasped the basic fact that those two words, clearly spoken, result automatically in acid–drops, we have got a success."
    I've often thought, don't you know, how interesting it must be to be one of those animal–trainer Johnnies: to stimulate the dawning intelligence, and that sort of thing. Well, this was every bit as exciting. Some days success seemed to be staring us in the eye, and the kid got the line out as if he'd been an old professional. And then he'd go all to pieces again. And time was flying.
    "We must hurry up, Jimmy," I said. "The kid's uncle may arrive any day now and take him away."
    "And we haven't an understudy," said Jimmy. "There's something in that. We must work! My goodness, that kid's a bad study. I've known deaf–mutes who would have learned the part quicker."
    I will say this for the kid, though: he was a trier. Failure didn't discourage him. Whenever there was any kind of sweet near he had a dash at his line, and kept on saying something till he got what he was after. His only fault was his uncertainty. Personally, I would have been prepared to risk it, and start the performance at the first opportunity, but Jimmy said no.
    "We're not nearly ready," said Jimmy. "To–day, for instance, he said 'Kick Freddie.' That's not going to win any girl's heart. And she might do it, too. No; we must postpone production awhile yet."
    But, by George, we didn't. The curtain went up the very next afternoon.
    It was nobody's fault—certainly not mine. It was just Fate. Freddie had settled down at the piano, and I was leading the kid out of the house to exercise it, when, just as we'd got out to the veranda, along came the girl Angela on her way to the beach. The kid set up his usual yell at the sight of her, and she stopped at the foot of the steps.
    "Hello, baby!" she said. "Good morning," she said to me. "May I come up?"
    She didn't wait for an answer. She just came. She seemed to be that sort of girl. She came up on the veranda and started fussing over the kid. And six feet away, mind you, Freddie smiting the piano in the sitting–room. It was a dash disturbing situation, don't you know. At any minute Freddie might take it into his head to come out on to the veranda, and we hadn't even begun to rehearse him in his part.
    I tried to break up the scene.
    "We were just going down to the beach," I said.
    "Yes?" said the girl. She listened for a moment. "So you're having your piano tuned?" she said. "My aunt has been trying to find a tuner for ours. Do you mind if I go in and tell this man to come on to us when he's finished here?"
    "Er—not yet!" I said. "Not yet, if you don't mind. He can't bear to be disturbed when he's working. It's the artistic temperament. I'll tell him later."
    "Very well," she said, getting up to go. "Ask him to call at Pine Bungalow. West is the name. Oh, he seems to have stopped. I suppose he will be out in a minute now. I'll wait."
    "Don't you think—shouldn't we be going on to the beach?" I said.
    She had started talking to the kid and didn't hear. She was feeling in her pocket for something.
    "The beach," I babbled.
    "See what I've brought for you, baby," she said. And, by George, don't you know, she held up in front of the kid's bulging eyes a chunk of toffee about the size of the Automobile Club.
    That finished it. We had just been having a long rehearsal, and the kid was all worked up in his part. He got it right first time.
    "Kiss Fweddie!" he shouted.
    And the front door opened, and Freddie came out on to the veranda, for all the world as if he had been taking a cue.
    He looked at the girl, and the girl looked at him. I looked at the ground, and the kid looked at the toffee.
    "Kiss Fweddie!" he yelled. "Kiss Fweddie!"
    The girl was still holding up the toffee, and the kid did what Jimmy Pinkerton would have called "business of outstretched hands" towards it.
    "Kiss Fweddie!" he shrieked.
    "What does this mean?" said the girl, turning to me.
    "You'd better give it to him, don't you know," I said. "He'll go on till you do."
    She gave the kid his toffee, and he subsided. Poor old Freddie still stood there gaping, without a word.
    "What does it mean?" said the girl again. Her face was pink, and her eyes were sparkling in the sort of way, don't you know, that makes a fellow feel as if he hadn't any bones in him, if you know what I mean. Did you ever tread on your partner's dress at a dance and tear