Naked Hero - The Journey Away

other men, but his strict Methodist upbringing in America’s Deep South didn’t lend itself to coming out and professing to this profanity. And of course professional sportsmen, a club that Scott was determined to join, were not in any way gay - that was a simple fact, or so he had always understood. Scott therefore tried to ignore his feelings and the sexual attraction he felt towards his fellow men. He tried to convince himself that these emotions didn’t exist – or if they did happen to surface alone in bed at night then they were viewed as nothing more than a means of relief – an added twist to the sin of spilling his seed, and not something that anyone should know about. To coin a phrase: it was just a phase he was going through – something he’d grow out of – that’s what Scott kept assuring himself. He was destined to become the world’s number one tennis player - how could he possibly have any gay tendencies? The two were irreconcilable – diametrically opposed states that couldn’t possibly co-exist, at least such was the mentality of the time.
    He didn’t grow out of it, even though he tried to convince himself that he had. Resolutely dogged and dedicated to his quest, Scott turned the situation into an advantage: men were totally forbidden, and whilst he did find women attractive as well, they didn’t hold the burning mind-twisting sort of allure that sends most young guys crazy, forsaking all else in the pursuit of getting laid. So sex wasn’t a major issue for one of America’s brightest rising stars. All his energy was channelled into his tennis. Nothing else was allowed to get in the way.
    Once he got to the top things changed however. He was single, good looking and a multi-millionaire, which adds up to one hell of an aphrodisiac for many a young girl, so there were plenty of floosies anxious to throw themselves at him, and plenty of gossipmongers watching his reaction. Desperate to fit into society’s norm and the stereotype expected of him, Scott went with the flow for a period of time. Well it wasn’t as if he was incapable of rising to the occasion – and he did quite enjoy having sex with women. It was pleasant, but not all consuming, too often feeling like he was going through the motions. And he was conscious that despite being blessed with formidable equipment, his efforts weren’t exactly earth-shaking. There was too much faking going on from all concerned, and Scott feared he was being unfavourably compared to other guys on the tour. That could never do! He was the leader of the pack – the alpha dog who should be able to satisfy the bitches, not see them wagging their tales at an inferior mutt who just happened to be better at rolling with them in the muck. And what might they say behind his back? The last thing he wanted was for suspicion to be raised, or in any way lose the respect of his peers. It was all fraught with too many negatives... That’s when Scott decided to find himself a wife.
    Carrie-Anne was her name – a physiotherapist with very strong hands and even stronger Christian beliefs. Scott found her innocence charming, and convinced himself that he’d fallen in love – and more importantly, he convinced Carrie-Anne. She was perfect for him: pretty and sweet; naive to the core; and a virgin who wanted to stay that way until she gave herself to a husband after he’d put a wedding ring on her finger and legitimised the act. That happy event took place six months later – Scott giving a performance that was far from champion, but good enough for a woman who’d no experience to judge by.
    It kind of worked for them both. Scott had his ‘beard’ and Carrie-Anne had a husband who was totally faithful, her only rivals for his affections being the sports of tennis and golf which he’d taken to playing as well. They muddled through for a few years, Scott battling with the injuries that were now plaguing his career, Carrie-Anne biding her time, waiting for the end and a new beginning, which inevitably came when Scott was forced to retire.
    But instead of the child that Carrie-Anne passionately wanted, she saw their marriage fall quickly apart. If there was a child then Gentleman Scott would be tied through obligation, and that wasn’t something he could inflict on either of them. He wasn’t prepared to turn the rest of his life into a jolly facade which would hide the misery that lay beneath. Carrie-Anne looked to the church, praying for guidance and