Naughty In Nice (A Royal Spyness Mystery)

wanted to come—is there a spare bedroom she could have?”
    My mother shrugged charmingly. “Darling, I’d love to help but one does like to keep a couple of good bedrooms available just in case someone interesting turns up out of the blue—like my darling Noel, for example. Noel Coward, I mean. He promised he’d come to visit.”
    “I heard he had a young lover—of the male persuasion,” Vera said bluntly.
    “As Georgie said so wisely, does one really need to tie everything in to sex?” Mummy laughed and tossed back that gorgeous blond hair. “He is the most amusing man I have ever met and he makes me laugh. Max never makes me laugh. Max never makes anyone laugh.”
    “I think it’s time you said bye-bye to Max,” Coco commented, stubbing out her cigarette in the butter on her plate.
    “I suppose you’re right. But he is so frightfully rich and generous, and the sex is quite divine,” Mummy said, “although I really don’t think Germany will be the place for me soon—not with that silly little man Hitler shouting at everyone.”
    “He can’t possibly last,” Vera said. “He is too ridiculous for words. Surely they must see through him soon.”
    “One hopes,” Mummy said. She got up. “Well, to work, my darlings. Georgie, go and compose your telegram. Vera and Coco can start going through their guest list. I think I’ll go and turn my considerable charms on the inspector with the big feet. He had his men take names and addresses, didn’t he? Then we can see who gate-crashed.”
    I looked at her with surprise. She was so beautiful that there were times when I forgot how sharp she was. I went upstairs and worked hard on my telegram to Granddad. It had to be perfect to lure him out of England when he had avowed never to set foot abroad.
    GRANDDAD. I’M IN A SPOT OF TROUBLE. REALLY NEED YOUR HELP. COULD YOU POSSIBLY COME? LADIES HERE WILL ARRANGE FOR YOUR FARE AND TICKETS. BESIDES THE CLIMATE WOULD BE WONDERFUL FOR YOUR CHEST.
     
    When I took it downstairs it produced peals of laughter from the others.
    “One can see the child has never sent a telegram in her life,” Coco said. “The secret, ma chère , is to take out all unnecessary words or it costs a fortune. Voilà .”
    She went through, striking out most of what I had said.
    IN TROUBLE. NEED YOUR HELP. FARE PAID. ALL ARRANGED. ALSO CLIMATE BENEFICIAL. RSVP IMMEDIATELY.
     
    “It sounds so impersonal,” I said. “I don’t know if he’ll come if he gets that.”
    “Let the child say what she wants.” Mummy took the paper from Coco. “We don’t exactly need to economize, do we?” And she walked off with my original telegram.
    Meanwhile I went upstairs to dress for my encounter with Sir Toby. I put on my cleanest, least crinkled cotton frock and dared to add a touch of rouge and lipstick. When I came down again I was met by two critical stares.
    “This is what you wear to visit Sir Toby?” Chanel asked. I nodded.
    “ Ma petite , you will not get any gossip out of him dressed like that. You are supposed to enchant him. Instead you look like a schoolgirl collecting donations for the starving children in China.”
    “I say, that’s a bit harsh,” Vera interjected, but added, “I do see her point. It’s not the most alluring of dresses.”
    “I don’t think I mean to allure him,” I said.
    “But at least you should charm him,” Coco said. “Show us your wardrobe. What else do you have?”
    Reluctantly I led them upstairs. Even more reluctantly I opened the wardrobe. Even to my eyes at home my wardrobe was not what you would call chic. To the most fashionable woman in the world it would obviously appear as—
    “Mon Dieu,” Coco exclaimed. “Where do you find your clothes? At the convent? These are the clothes of a young woman who wishes to become a nun.”
    “I haven’t had the money to buy anything recently,” I said, my cheeks flaming. “My brother cut me off and it’s not easy trying to survive alone.”
    She looked at me with sympathy. “This I know. I have survived alone all these years. But then I had a talent. You must find your talent, my child. And in the meantime, we must help her, Vera. What do we have that she can wear today?”
    “It is too bad that her mother is so petite,” Vera said. “She would not fit into any of Claire’s clothes.”
    “We must take her on a shopping expedition,” Coco said. “This very morning. It will be fun. Come on. Let’s find Claire and go into