New Orleans Noir

against Brack Self, a bartender and “performance artist” who turned out to have been locked up the whole time in Tampa for beating on his present girlfriend. That, and an Egyptian scarab, a petrified dung beetle supposed to be a symbol of immortality.
    Which didn’t seem to have worked for Eva Pierce, poet and stripper.
    I made it to the Dragon’s Den on a sticky Tuesday evening, with a woolly sky trapping humidity inside the city like a soggy blanket. It had been trying to rain for two weeks. The air was always just about to clear but never did, as if old Mother Nature were working on her orgasm. I carried an umbrella, expecting a downpour. The place was right next to the river, and hadn’t seen a drop of paint since I last walked in the door thirty years ago, with all my hair and a young man’s cocky swagger. A whistle was moaning as a freight train clacked along the nearby tracks, and the huge live oak out front shrouded the crumbling façade in a tangle of shadows. An old rickshaw was parked outside, where an elfin creature with orange hair sat scribbling in a notebook. He shot me a look through thick black plastic glasses, and then went back to writing.
    Guess I’d found the poets.
    I slapped a black beret on my head as I headed through the clammy alley, the bricks so decrepit that ferns were sprouting from the walls. I needed to blend in with the artsy crowd here, so I wore a blousy purple shirt and tight black pants, and carried a paperback by some poet I’d had to read at night school called Oscar Wilde. A wizened old Chinese guy was squatting over a tub of vegetables in the patio, and the air smelled like spices. Something was sizzling in the kitchen. I felt like I was in Hong Kong looking for my Shanghai Lil.
    Except for the Far East decor, the bar upstairs hadn’t changed that much. A small stage and dance floor had been added at the center, and the tables were low, surrounded by pillows on the floor. Is that where poets eat, I wondered, on the floor?
    “I’ll have something light and refreshing, with a twist of lime,” I lisped to the two-ton Oriental gal behind the bar, waving my pinky. A biker type in a leather cowboy hat was observing me from across the bar.
    “You a cop?” he yelled.
    “Why no,” I said, batting my eyelashes, holding up the lavender book so he could read the cover. “I’ve come for the poultry.”
    “Hey, Miss Ping,” he shouted to the bartender, “give Lieutenant Girlfriend here a wine spritzer on my tab.”
    Just as I lurched forward to knock this asshole’s block off, in walked Mrs. Pierce with that orange-haired garden gnome from out front.
    “Here you go, Lieutenant Girlfriend,” Miss Ping said, setting down the drink.
    “Lieutenant,” Mrs. Pierce said, “this was Eva’s roommate, Pogo Lamont.”
    “Lieutenant Girlfriend,” Pogo cackled, extending his hand.
    “Come on, son, I want to talk to you on the balcony,” I said, grabbing him by the shoulder.
    “Unhand me this instant!” the little creep cried out.
    “Watch out,” grunted the joker in the leather cowboy hat. “Lieutenant Girlfriend’s already hitting on the chicken.” Miss Ping barked a throaty laugh.
    The kid followed me onto the balcony, which was pitching precariously away from the building. I steadied myself as if stepping onto a boat, not trusting the rusted iron-lace railing to keep all 250 pounds of me from rolling off.
    “Okay, you know why I’m here,” I said, plunking down my drink on a wobbly table. “Who’s this Brack Self character that Eva took out a peace bond against?”
    “Oh, that snarling beast,” Pogo said, curling up like a cat into a chair. “A former beau who used his fists to make a point. Black and blue weren’t Eva’s most becoming colors.”
    “She liked it rough, huh?”
    “Oooh, Lieutenant Girlfriend,” Pogo squealed.
    “Say, you little—” Play it cool, I thought. This is just a job.
    “She met him here at the open mike when the poetry series started. That first night he got so wasted he just unzipped, whipped it out, and pissed sitting right at a table. While I was performing, I might add. Now that, honey, is what I call literary criticism. Eva mopped it up, and never stopped. And ended up mothering him.”
    “How long they together?”
    “Until the third occasion she summoned the police.”
    He couldn’t have killed her from a jail cell in Tampa. Maybe he had friends.
    “How long you been coming here?”
    “Since I was a boy.