Nightside 02 - Agents of Light and Darkness

that rabbit was mad at him.” He turned back to the musician he’d been listening to and glared at him pointedly. “You ready for another one, Leo?”
    “Always.” Leo Morn finished off the last of his beer and pushed the glass forward. He was a tall slender figure, who looked so insubstantial it was probably only the weight of his heavy leather jacket that kept him from drifting away. He had a long pale face under a permanent bad hair day, enlivened by bright eyes and a distinctly wolfish smile. A battered guitar case leaned against the bar beside him. He gave Alex his best ingratiating smile. “Come on, Alex, you know this place could use a good live set. The band’s back together again, and we’re setting up a comeback tour.”
    “How can you have a comeback when you’ve never been anywhere? No , Leo. I remember the last time I let you talk me into playing here. My customers have made it very clear that they would rather projectile vomit their own intestines rather than have to listen to you again, and I don’t necessarily disagree. What’s the band called… this week? I take it you are still changing the name on a regular basis, so you can still get bookings?”
    “For the moment, we’re Druid Chic,” Leo admitted. “It does help to have the element of surprise on our side.”
    “Leo, I wouldn’t book you to play at a convention for the deaf.” Alex glared across at the werewolf on his blanket. “And take your drummer with you. He is lowering the tone, which in this place is a real accomplishment.”
    Leo ostentatiously looked around, then gestured for Alex to lean closer. “You know,” he said conspiratorially, “if you’re looking for something new, something just that little bit special to pull in some new customers, I might be able to help you out. Would you be interested in… a pinch of Elvis?”
    Alex looked at him suspiciously. “Tell me this has nothing at all to do with fried banana sandwiches.”
    “Only indirectly. Listen. A few years back, a certain group of depraved drug fiends of my acquaintance hatched a diabolical plan in search of the greatest possible high. They had tried absolutely everything, singly and in combination, and were desperate for something new. Something more potent, to scramble what few working brain cells they had left. So they went to Graceland. Elvis, as we all know, was so full of pills when he died they had to bury him in a coffin with a childproof lid. By the time he died, the man’s system was saturated with every weird drug under the sun, including several he had made up specially. So my appalling friends sneaked into Graceland under cover of a heavy-duty camouflage spell, dug up Elvis’s body, and replaced it with a simulacrum. Then they scampered back home with their prize. You can see where this is going, can’t you? They cremated Elvis’s body, collected the ashes, and smoked them. The word is, there’s no high like… a pinch of Elvis.”
    Alex considered the matter for a moment. “Congratulations,” he said finally. “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard, Leo. And there’s been a lot of competition. Get out of here. Leo. Now.”
    Leo Morn shrugged and grinned, finished his drink, and went to grab his drummer by the collar. His place at the bar was immediately taken by a new arrival, a fat middle-aged man in a crumpled suit. Slobby, sweaty, and furtive, he looked like he should have been standing in a police identification parade somewhere. He smiled widely at Alex, who didn’t smile back.
    “A splendid night, Alex! Indeed, a most fortunate night! You’re looking well, sir, very well. A glass of your very finest, if you please!”
    Alex folded his arms across his chest. “Tate. Just when I think my day can’t get any worse, you turn up. I don’t suppose there’s any chance of you paying your bar bill, is there?”
    “You wound me, sir! You positively wound me!” Tate tried to look aggrieved. It didn’t suit him. He switched to an ingratiating smile. “My impecunious days are over, Alex! As of today, I am astonishingly solvent. I…”
    At which point he was suddenly pushed aside by a tall, cadaverous individual, in a smart tuxedo and a billowing black opera cape. His face was deathly pale, his eyes were a savage crimson, and his mouth was full of sharp teeth. He smelled of grave dirt. He pounded a corpse-pale fist on the bar and glared at Alex.
    “You! Giff me blut! Fresh blut!”
    Alex calmly picked up a