Nightside 08 - The Unnatural Inquirer

Player in his own right, and he doesn’t scare easily.”
    “Walker?”
    “You have a point there,” I admitted. I was getting used to walking arm in arm with Bettie. It felt good, natural. “Could Walker have been lying to us, to hide the fact he already had the DVD? No, I don’t think so. He would have told me if he’d had it, if only to put me in my place. And his reasons for wanting me to find it before anyone else sounded pretty good to me.”
    “You mean the angels?” said Bettie.
    “Please,” I said. “Let us not use the a-word in public.”
    “All right, if it isn’t Walker, then who? Razor Eddie?”
    I shook my head. “He might be the Punk God of the Straight Razor, but Eddie’s never been very interested in religion. In fact, he’s pretty much the only god all the other Beings on the Street of the Gods are afraid of.”
    “How about the Lord of Thorns, then?”
    “You have been doing your homework, haven’t you? No, he’s still recovering from the Lilith War and the trauma of finding out he’s not who he thought he was.”
    “You know everyone, don’t you?” Bettie said admiringly. “Who did he think he was?”
    “Overseer of the Nightside.”
    Bettie thought about that. “If the Lord of Thorns isn’t watching over us, who is?”
    “Good question,” I said. “Lot of people are still arguing about that.”
    She gave me a sly, sideways look. “Lot of people say you could have been King of the Nightside, if you’d wanted.”
    I smiled. “You shouldn’t listen to gossip.”
    “Don’t be silly, darling! That’s my job!”
    “Damn,” I said, as a thought occurred to me.
    “You’re frowning, John, and I do wish you wouldn’t. It usually means you’ve suddenly thought of something unpleasant, spooky, and probably downright dangerous.”
    “Right on all three counts,” I said. “There is one man the Collector is afraid of, and quite rightly, too. Anyone with any sense is afraid of the Removal Man.”
    Bettie pulled her arm out of mine and stopped dead in the street. I stopped with her. She gave me a hard look.
    “Hold everything, reverse gear, go previous. Are you having fun with me, John? Thinking I’ll believe anything simply because it’s you saying it? The Removal Man is just an urban legend. Isn’t he?”
    “Unfortunately, no,” I said.
    “But…I don’t know anyone who’s seen him, or even claimed to have seen him! The Unnatural Inquirer’s been offering really quite serious money for a photo…No-one’s ever come forward.”
    “Because they’re too scared,” I said. “You don’t mess with the Removal Man; not if you like existing.”
    “Have you ever met him?” said Bettie, her voice carefully casual.
    “No,” I said. “And I was hoping to keep it that way. I don’t think he approves of me. And people and things the Removal Man disapproves of have this unfortunate tendency to disappear without a trace. The Removal Man has made it his personal crusade to wander the Nightside anonymously, removing all the things and people that offend him. Removing, as in making them vanish so completely that even really Major Players have been unable to confirm exactly what it is he’s done with them.”
    “He removes people from reality because they offend him?” said Bettie.
    “Pretty much.” I started off down the street again, and Bettie came along with me. Not holding my arm. “Basically, the Removal Man drops the hammer on people if he considers them to be a threat to the Nightside, or the world in general…or because who or what they are offends his particular moral beliefs. Judge, jury, and executioner, though no-one’s ever seen him do it.”
    “Like…Jessica Sorrow?” said Bettie, frowning.
    “No…Jessica made bits of the world disappear because she didn’t believe in them, and her disbelief was stronger than their reality. Very scary lady. Luckily she sleeps a lot of the time. No, the Removal Man chooses what he wants to disappear. No-one’s ever been able to bring any of his victims back; and a whole lot of pretty powerful people have tried…I’ve never heard a single guess at his name, or who he used to be before he came here and took on his role. And this in a place that runs on rumours. He’s a mystery, and all the signs are he likes it that way.”
    “You are seriously spooking me out, sweetie,” said Bettie. “Are you sure he’s involved with this?”
    “No; but it sounds right. The Afterlife Recording is exactly the