No Regrets

the waiting news helicopter and the covey of reporters on the courthouse roof, had developed strategies to avoid being ambushed by the media as they walked to the courtroom. On this night, as always, they sent their oldest member ahead. At seventy-seven, it took her longer to make the walk and she limped along with her cane. But she was wily and knew she was also sent out as a scout. She saw the reporters who were ready to pounce, ducked behind a sign, and gave a hand signal to tell the rest of the jury to take an alternate route.
    The courtroom was full to bursting by 7:00 P.M .
    Ruth Neslund sat stolidly as the jury filed in. They did not look at her, and several of them had puffy eyes. One female juror had tear-stained cheeks. That didn’t bode well for Ruth.
    If Ruth didn’t feel a chill, she should have. In the lastfew moments before the verdict was read, the courtroom was hushed. There were no cameras, other than television cameras focused on Judge Bibb to catch the moment he read the verdict. The court had forbidden photos of Ruth Neslund or the attorneys, and he had warned against demonstrations or emotion.
    Finally, the slip of paper holding the verdict was handed to Judge Bibb. He scanned it without expression and then he read it in a solemn voice: “We, the jury, find the defendant . . . guilty . . . of first-degree murder.”
    His words were a lightning bolt, unexpected and shocking.
    Al Cummings, a very well-known Seattle-area personality who was both a disk jockey and a freelance writer, sat up and bolted from his seat—only to be chastised by Judge Bibb and told to sit down.
    All the reporters present, including Keith Eldridge, from Channel Four in Seattle, were champing at the bit to get to phones, but they obeyed Bibb’s instructions.
    No one in the courtroom had expected this verdict. Ruth had also been found guilty of being “armed with a deadly weapon,” an automatic five-year consecutive sentence that would be added to whatever her punishment for murder would be.
    Fred Weedon turned to Ruth and hugged her several times, trying to comfort her. She rubbed her eyes several times, as if in disbelief.
    As the jurors were individually asked if they agreed with the first-degree murder verdict, each of them phrased their answer exactly as Juror Number One, Lisa Boyd, had. “Yes, Your Honor.” One woman broke into loud sobs and the others had tears in their eyes.
    The feeling in the courtroom was mostly one of shock.Virtually no one had expected that Rolf Neslund’s murder would be deemed premeditated, planned in any kind of organized fashion. Even the judge admitted to being surprised. Almost everyone in the courtroom wore a stunned expression. Some had expected acquittal, and others thought that Ruth might only be convicted of manslaughter. But first-degree murder? It looked as though no one was prepared for that. There were no cheers and no smiles, not even among the prosecution team.
    Ruth Neslund herself did not change expression.
    She leaned heavily on her four-footed cane as she made her way slowly out of the courtroom toward the elevator, her skin the color of putty, her eyes beginning to redden. She was escorted now by Undersheriff Rod Tvrdy and Detective Ray Clever. Fred Weedon accompanied her, appearing far more distraught than she was.
    Ruth was under arrest and headed for jail. She waved off reporters who tried to either get a quote from her or help her up the steps to a waiting squad car. “I’ll make it. I’ll make it—it’s all right.”
    It was not clear if she was talking about the steps or the prison sentence that lay ahead.
    Fred Weedon came back to the courtroom and broke down. He had genuine tears in his eyes. In his eighteen years as an attorney, he had never had a client convicted of first-degree murder. Not until now.
    As spectators, courthouse employees, and some jurors wept, Foreman Elizabeth Roberts spoke to reporters, representing the twelve. “It was a very difficult decision,” she said. “We worked hard. It was not the decision we wanted to come up with. We wish we could have found a different decision. The evidence was too much. It was just one thing on top of another, on top of another. It was very difficultfor all of us. I don’t know what else to say. It was just a whole lot of details that added up...”
    Juror Jeanne Barnes said that all of the jurors had started deliberations with a “gut feeling” that Ruth Neslund was guilty, but the evidence