Not Dead Yet

sitting beneath a large umbrella, rain falling all around him, holding a roll-up between his forefinger and thumb.
    Grace handed him his pint of Guinness and set down his own glass, containing Diet Coke, and pulled up a chair. ‘Good weather for ducks!’ he said.
    The smell of Spicer’s cigarette was tantalizing. But he had made a resolve, many years ago, never to smoke in the daytime, and only one or two, occasionally, in the evening.
    Spicer took a long drag and inhaled deeply. ‘Are we agreed it’s a monkey?’
    ‘That’s a lot of money.’
    ‘I think you’ll find it a bargain.’ He drained his glass, then lifted the one Grace had bought him.
    ‘And if I don’t?’
    Spicer shrugged. ‘No skin off my nose. I’ll just do the burglary, and I’ll net a lot more than a monkey, yeah?’
    ‘What burglary are you talking about?’
    He drank deeply from his new pint. ‘I’ve been offered good money to burgle Gaia’s hotel suite.’
    Grace’s whole body clenched tight. He felt a shiver ripple through him. Suddenly, £500 did seem a bargain. ‘Tell me more?’
    ‘We have a deal?’
    ‘I’ll get the money to you in the next couple of days. So, first thing, why didn’t you take the job?’
    ‘Don’t do burglary no more, Detective Superintendent. The police made me a rich man. Don’t need to do no burglaring.’
    ‘So what are you into now? Drugs? I guess a wedge like fifty grand could make you a bit of a player.’
    Spicer shrugged evasively. ‘I in’t here to talk about myself.’
    Grace raised his hands. ‘Don’t worry, I’m clean, no recorder! So tell me who’s offered you this job?’
    Even though the terrace was deserted, Spicer still looked cautiously around, before leaning across the table and, in a very low voice, said, ‘Amis Smallbone.’
    Grace stared back at him. ‘Amis Smallbone? Seriously?’
    Spicer nodded.
    ‘Why you?’
    ‘I used to work at The Grand after I come out of prison, down in the maintenance department. Know my way around the place with me eyes shut. I know how to get into any room there. Smallbone had heard that, that’s why he come to me.’
    ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to go on the record with this?’
    ‘Yer having a laugh!’
    ‘If you made a statement I could get his licence revoked. He’d be back inside for a good long stretch.’
    ‘I know I’m not that smart,’ Spicer said. ‘But I’m still alive. If I go public and grass up Smallbone, I’d have to watch me back for the rest of my life. No thanks.’ He looked worriedly at Grace. ‘This is not – you know?’
    Grace shook his head. ‘It stays with me. No one will ever knowwe had this conversation. So tell me more? I didn’t think burglary was Smallbone’s game.’
    ‘It ain’t. He just wanted to fuck you over. Embarrass you.’ Then Spicer gave a wry smile. ‘I don’t think he likes you very much.’
    ‘That’s a shame. My mantelpiece will look very bare this Christmas without my usual card from him.’

68
    ‘No I don’t need help, thank you. Do I look that fucking frail?’
    The doorman of The Grand Hotel was taken aback, but outwardly kept his composure. ‘Very good, sir, just trying to be helpful.’
    ‘When I want your help, I’ll tell you.’
    Drayton Wheeler walked on through the lobby, perspiring heavily, struggling from the weight of the sealed brown box under his left arm, and his two heavily laden carrier bags.
    He passed a couple of photographers and the same oddball group of people occupying a bay of sofas, several of them holding CD booklets and record sleeves, who seemed to be camped out here, sad fans of that superbitch cow actress. How wrong was she for the part? His part. The one he had written. He pressed the button and waited for the lift. His anger was all over the place, he knew. He had shouted at two different pharmacists, the idiot on the checkout desk in the Waitrose supermarket, the cretin in Dockerills hardware store and the total asshole in Halfords.
    He got out at the sixth floor, walked down the corridor, then struggled to get his key card out. He pushed it in then removed it.
    The light flashed red.
    ‘Shit!’ he shouted. He rammed it in then pulled it out again, the weight of the package under his left arm killing him. He put it in again, the right way around this time, and the light flashed green.
    He half kicked, half pushed open the door and stepped into the small room, staggered over towards the twin beds and dumped his packages down