Notorious Nineteen

Hamilton, and we made a fast stop for chicken. Lula got a bucket of extra crispy, a side of fries, and a side of slaw. I got a biscuit. My stomach wasn’t in top form after last night’s poisoning. We took the food to the office, and I lugged Tiki in, along with my biscuit.
    “We had a good day,” Lula said to Connie. “We had all kinds of success. Do you want a piece of chicken? I got the big bucket in case I had to share.”
    Connie passed on the chicken, and Vinnie popped out of his office.
    “What kind of success? Did you get Cubbin?”
    “Not yet,” Lula said. “But we got Melvin Barrel.”
    “Melvin Barrel is good,” Vinnie said. “Does he want to get rebonded?”
    “Probably not,” Lula said. “He’s dead.”
    I showed Vinnie the picture on my cellphone.
    “Are those tire tracks on his chest?” Vinnie asked. “And bullet holes? Christ, how many times did you shoot him?”
    “I didn’t shoot him,” I said. “He got hit by a car, and the driver got out and shot him . . . five times.”
    “And we went after Brody Logan too,” Lula said, digging into the bucket of chicken. “Except he got away.”
    I set the tiki on Connie’s desk. “Logan ran off, so I confiscated his tiki.”
    “That’s the tiki?” Vinnie asked, eyes bulging out of their sockets. “Are you nuts? You brought the tiki here ?”
    “I thought you wanted it.”
    “Yeah, but not here! That thing’s evil. It’s a bad influence.”
    “That could be true,” Lula said. “I was planning on just getting a couple pieces of chicken, and it told me to get the big bucket.”
    I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over.
    “Get that thing out of here, and go find Cubbin,” Vinnie said. “I’ve got enough problems without a tiki putting ideas in my head. Lucille has me going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.”
    “How’s that working for you?” Lula asked.
    “It’s a nightmare. I go there, and I’m in a room filled with perverts. It’s like being in a bakery where everything is free and you can’t eat anything.”
    “Speaking of bakery, I wouldn’t mind having some dessert,” Lula said. “I need something sweet to get my mind off the grease and salt attack I’m having.”
    I hefted Tiki and tucked him under my arm. “I want to talk to Mrs. Cubbin again. We can stop at Tasty Pastry on the way.”
    Ten minutes later Lula came out of Tasty Pastry with a box of Italian cookies, six fresh-made cannoli, and a bag of donuts.
    “That’s a lot of dessert,” I said.
    “I just wanted a cookie. I was gonna get one of them black-and-whites, but Tiki couldn’t make up his mind.”
    “Tiki told you to buy all this?”
    “Yeah. I’m pretty sure it was Tiki. It was like someone was whispering in my ear.”
    “That’s ridiculous. You’re using Tiki as an excuse.”
    “I don’t think so. I definitely heard someone whispering.” Lula selected a cannoli. “I don’t usually get cannoli, but Tiki had a good suggestion here.” She held the box out to me. “You want one? They’re good for you on account of there’s dairy in them.”
    “Sure,” I said. “Give me a cannoli.”
    I ate my cannoli while I drove to Susan Cubbin’s house. Okay, I get that it’s not the perfect marriage, but it seems to me if anyone had a lead on Cubbin it would be his wife. Wives know things. They snoop around. They especially snoop around if they think they’re getting screwed out of money.
    I parked in front of the white ranch with the black shutters, told Tiki to behave himself, and Lula and I went to the door.
    “You want me to go looking in the windows?” Lula asked.
    “No!”
    I rang the bell and waited. No answer. I rang again. Nothing.
    “Maybe she’s shopping,” Lula said. “Taking her mind off her troubles. The other possibility is she fell down the stairs and broke her hip and can’t get up like that lady in the commercial. In which case we have a obligation to break in and help her. Least that’s what Tiki says.”
    “I’m surprised you can hear Tiki when he’s in the car and you’re in the bakery or standing here on the porch.”
    “Yeah, he’s got good range for a chunk of wood.” Lulapushed on the door and it swung open. “Hunh, look at this. The door’s not locked. It wasn’t even all closed.”
    I stepped inside. “Hello,” I called. “Anybody home?”
    No answer.
    Lula followed me in and closed the door. “Look at the bottom of the stairs. That’s where they land when they fall.”
    “This