Now or Never

drained.
    “Tomorrow is the funeral at Arlington,” he said so softly Grayson had to strain to hear the words.
    “And you can’t go.” She grabbed his hand from under the blanket. His hand was so cold in hers. She had to do something to help him. She whispered in his ear, “Do you want me to go for you?”
    “You didn’t even know him,” he choked out.
    “No, but I know my brother. I know you. I know the sacrifice the families of soldiers make.”
    His eyes welled up, and he looked away clearing his throat.
    What the hell was she doing coming in here like this? The last thing Derrick needed to worry about was some crazy-ass girl. She needed to push her jealousy aside and just be there for him. Even if they only ended up being friends, and nothing more, she had to forget all that right now.
    Leaning down she kissed the top of his forehead. “I should have respected your wishes.”
    “I’m glad you didn’t.”
    With a faint whisper of hope in her voice she asked, “Really?”
    He nodded. “Thanks for coming to see me.”
    The door burst open and Megan came through the door holding a tray.
    Grayson shifted beneath her feet uncomfortable and not sure what to do. Talk about awkward . She still had his hand in hers, and she didn’t want to let go.
    “Thanks Megan. Why don’t you go back to your room? I want to visit with Grayson for a few more minutes and then get some sleep.”
    Megan narrowed her eyes at Grayson as she set the tray down. “I got your favorites.”
    “Thank you.”
    Megan stood there for a moment and then turned to grab her jacket off the back of a chair. “I’ll be back in the morning then,” she said in a rather bitchy tone.
    “You really should go home Megan. There is nothing you can do here.”
    “I want to be here.”
    “My parents are going to arrive tomorrow. And I’d prefer not to have anyone else here.”
    Megan looked down at the floor. “OK. Well, I’ll come have breakfast with you before I leave.”
    “That’s fine.”
    She hesitated like she wanted to say something, but turned and walked out the door.
    Derrick closed his eyes and sighed. “I wish she’d never shown up.”
    “I’m so confused Derrick. I don’t know what to believe anymore. You have me questioning what I see right in front of my face.”
    “I’m sorry. It’s really not what it looks like.”
    “You keep saying that, but offer no explanation. I was warned you were a ladies’ man, but why is it always the same girl? It makes no sense.”
    “She’s a friend. And unfortunately, she feels more for me than I do her. That’s all I’m going to say about this right now.”
    Grayson wanted to press the issue, but kept her mouth shut. They could sort this mess out later for now she was just happy that he wanted her there, and not Megan.
    “I’m tired Gray. My brain hurts. I keep going over what happened in my mind. Could I have done something different? Why did Andrews die and not me? I know everyone’s life has an expiration date. It’s just hard to come to terms with it all.”
    Grayson looked over at Derrick and felt her heart lurch. The pain in his expression was difficult to see. How could she be so selfish when he was obviously in turmoil?

CHAPTER 33

    Dressed in a dark charcoal dress Grayson made her way down the aisle searching for a seat. There were so many people and even camera crews. Military funerals were enough to pull at anyone’s heart strings. Ethan saw her and waved her over. He looked so handsome in his dress blues. Why hadn’t she thought about Ethan being there? Probably because she had been incapable to think clearly since Derrick had been injured. Hell, she hadn’t been able to think straight since the day she laid eyes on Derrick.
    She was grateful to see a familiar face. Grayson made her way over and sat in between her brother and Marcus. Seeing her brother made her feel better. She was a ball of nerves all morning.
    “I didn’t even know you were back,” she whispered.
    “Only Marcus and I could come to the funeral the others had to stay back. Luna told me you were in DC, but I didn’t expect to see you here.”
    “I just felt like I should be here.”
    Marcus leaned over and whispered, “Look who’s coming.”
    They all turned, and Grayson’s mouth dropped open. Derrick was being wheeled down the lawn. An IV bag was hung above him, and he looked very weak. He was in his uniform, and had shaved. Grayson wanted to jump up and run to him, but Ethan