Oleander House: Bay City Paranormal Investigations, Book 1

it,” Sam said softly. “You wanted to pretend it was just experimenting, that it didn’t mean anything.”
Bo opened his eyes, some of the tension visibly melting from him. “Yes. It scared me. Lafayette isn’t exactly a hotbed of gay culture, you know. I wasn’t brought up to believe it was wrong so much as I was brought up not even realizing it was a possibility. Even when I was at LSU, I didn’t see that side of life, ever. Maybe I just chose not to, I don’t know. But I’d never known anyone who was openly gay, I’d never been exposed to it, and to have those feelings myself was a huge shock. I had no idea how to deal with it.”
On impulse, Sam reached over and took Bo’s hand. A surge of joy rushed through him when Bo’s fingers curled unhesitatingly around his. “How’d you get back together with Janine?”
Bo sighed. “She showed up on my doorstep the day after I got back from New Orleans. She told me she’d quit her job in Chicago. She hated the city, she said, and…and she missed me too much.”
“So you asked her to marry you, thinking it might kill all those feelings you weren’t supposed to have.”
Bo flashed a tight smile. “Actually, she proposed to me. Right there at the door, with her suitcase still in her hand.”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Wow. Must’ve been true love.” He tried not to sound as jealous as he felt.
Bo laughed, the sound sharp and bitter. “I used to think so. I’ve wondered since if she ever actually loved me, or if I ever loved her.”
“But you accepted her proposal,” Sam pointed out. “You married her. You must’ve thought you felt something for her. Right?”
“That’s what I told myself.” Bo let go of Sam’s hand and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “I convinced myself that I married her because I loved her. It’s taken me all this time to figure out that the real reason I did it was because I was terrified of what I was. I thought that marriage would make it all go away.”
“And when it didn’t, you thought having kids would do it.” Sam gazed at Bo with a strange mix of irritation and empathy. “Were there others?”
Bo shook his head emphatically. “Never. Even when it became clear that it wasn’t working between us, I never once cheated on her.” Bo gave him a sad smile. “Until you came along, that is. You have the dubious honor of being the one and only person to ever tempt me into being unfaithful to my wife.”
Guilt prodded Sam’s insides. He looked at the floor, feeling his cheeks flush. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.”
Sam lifted his head and stared keenly into Bo’s eyes. “What?”
Bo flushed pink. “Maybe I should be, but I’m not. Janine and I have been like strangers for years now. We try to keep it civil, because of the kids, but we barely talk beyond what’s necessary, and we haven’t shared a bed in ages. Maybe this is the catalyst we both need to make us move on with our lives.”
Sam smiled, his first genuine smile in what felt like forever. “Maybe it is.”
Bo smiled back at him. “So when are you coming back to work?”
“Whenever you want me to,” Sam answered, watching Bo’s face. “I need to find some answers, Bo. To what happened in Oleander House.”
Sorrow filled Bo’s eyes. “You didn’t come to Amy’s funeral.”
“It was best that way. I know you think no one blames me,” Sam continued before Bo could protest, “but Andre’s bound to blame me at least a little, even if no one else does. I didn’t want to intrude on his grief. Or yours.”
“You’re wrong, Sam,” Bo said quietly. “We’ve talked about this a lot, and believe me, he doesn’t blame you at all. He blames himself more than anything, because Amy felt uncomfortable there and wanted to leave, and he wouldn’t go.”
“He couldn’t have known what would happen.”
“He couldn’t, no. And neither could you.”
Sam stared into Bo’s eyes and felt a little bit better. “Why didn’t it hurt me? I attacked it. I was…” He floundered, searching for the words to describe what he’d felt. “I grabbed the fucking thing. I was inside its mind , Bo. Why didn’t it kill me?”
Why Amy and not me? He’d asked himself that question more times than he could count, and he hadn’t yet found an answer.
“That’s what you need the answer to, isn’t it? Why it left you alone and killed Amy.”
Bo’s voice was gentle and understanding. Sam swallowed against the lump rising in his throat.