On an Edge of Glass

shop so that I can throw my cup in the trashcan that rests against the opposite wall instead of the one by the door.
    And I tell myself that the feeling that lurches in my gut when I walk out the door and into the brilliant blue of a fall day is actually the salad I ate for lunch digesting wrong.
    I sigh and head toward home.  
     
     
    Here, on the edge of campus, where the University blends into the comings and goings of everyday life, the sidewalk is active with people.
                  I have to duck around an older couple stopped in front of a shop window, discussing the merits of a china pattern on display.  I wonder if I’ll ever be old enough to care about china patterns.  I hope not.
                  Passing a stand of bike racks, I pull a study sheet from my bag.  I might as well keep myself occupied on the walk.  With less than two months until I take the LSAT, every opportunity for study time counts.
                  LSAT stands for: Law School Admissions Test.  You need to take it to get into law school.  Obviously.
                  And to get into Columbia Law, you need to do well on the LSAT.  Very well. 
    Columbia .  It’s my mantra.
    I t’s where I’m headed next year.  It’s where both my mother and my father went to law school.  It’s where my father’s father went to law school.  Getting accepted to Columbia Law is what has been expected of me since birth.
    Just thinking about it gives me goose bumps.  This time next year, I’ll be living in New York City among glittery, wonderful people, and on track to be a corporate attorney like my parents.
                  I shake the last remnants of my hot boy induced delirium away and glance down at the study sheet gripped between my fingers.  It’s probably for the best that the coffee shop guy didn’t come over and talk to me.  I have a plan, and distractions have no part in it.
                 

CHAPTER TWO
    Hannah, the Deserter
     
     
    “I don’t understand,” I say shaking my head, letting my fingers drop to the couch cushions.  “What do you mean she’s not coming back?”
                  “Ellie, I mean exactly what I said.  Hannah, our lovely roomie, has decided not to come back home,” Ainsley says carefully.
    She takes her long hair and begins separating it into even segments and winding them over the splayed fingers of her hand.  After living together for over a year, I’ve seen her do this before, and I know that it’s a sign of stress.  The puffy eyes and red-tipped nose are an indication that tears aren’t far away.  
                  “What did Payton have to say about this?”
                  Ainsley swipes her palms against her cheeks.  Then she stands and walks to our small kitchen. 
    “Oh, you know how Payton is,” she says to me over her shoulder.  “She freaked out for about ten minutes, and then she redid her makeup and told me not to worry—that she’d start looking for a new roommate today.” 
    “A new roommate?”
    “That’s what she said.”  She pauses so that she can fill her electric tea kettle with tap water.  After flipping off the faucet she turns back to face me.  Her blue eyes are watery.  “Ellie, I just don’t know how we’re going to find someone this late in the year.  It’s not as if reliable homeless people are falling out of trees.  And if we can’t find a new roommate, how are we going to cover another person’s rent and Hannah’s portion of the electric and...”
                  I can tell that Ainsley is about to start up the water works in a big way.  I am at her side quickly.  With my arm draped across her thin shoulders, I murmur that she shouldn’t worry.  But the truth is that I’m worried.  Our fourth roommate, Hannah, called the house this morning while I was at class.  She curtly informed Payton and Ainsley that she would no longer be living in the house with us.  Effective immediately. 
                  The four of us lived together in on-campus housing last year.  We were randomly paired up with one another, and at first, it was uncomfortable.  We could not be more different.  Payton’s a heavy partier, Ainsley’s a sweet sorority girl, Hannah’s into intramural sports, and I’m the studious one.  It took us a few weeks, but once we got over the initial hurdle, everything clicked into place.  I