Parallel

inside. I wasn’t cold until I realized it, but now I’m freezing. Josh sees me shivering and unzips his fleece.
    “Here,” he says, handing it to me. It’s the first word spoken since we left the basement. I shake my head in protest.
    “Keep it,” I insist. “I don’t want you to be cold.” He ignores me, draping the fleece around my shoulders. “But I’m the bad guy here,” I point out. “The bad guy doesn’t deserve to be warm.”
    “This is true.” There’s the slightest hint of humor in his voice. I run with it. It’s risky, but it’s all I’ve got.
    “I mean, come on,” I joke, “the girl who shows up at your house on Thanksgiving to pick up your brother certainly doesn’t deserve to wear your jacket.”
    His face hardens. Okay, so we’re not quite to the we-can-laugh-about-this stage yet.
    “So he’s the reason you just disappeared?” he asks. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”
    “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.” He doesn’t respond. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but it’d be really great if you would.”
    Josh just looks at me. “That’s it? That’s your apology?”
    I nod weakly, nearly buckling under the weight of how much more he deserves. This kind, well-meaning guy has become collateral damage. His heart was broken, and he has no idea why. He’s telling himself that his ex-girlfriend simply fell for someone else, but that can’t be a satisfying explanation because that’s not the person he understood his ex-girlfriend to be. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I say softly. Even as I’m saying it, I know how lame it sounds.
    “Which part?” he asks evenly. “The part where you acted like I didn’t exist? Or the part where I found out why?”
    “I didn’t know,” I whisper, stung by his tone.
    Josh stops walking. “You ‘didn’t know’ what, Abby? That Michael and I were related?” His voice is angry now. “Maybe not. But you sure as hell knew how you were treating me. Never mind that I was ready to transfer to be nearer to you. And you couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the freaking phone?”
    I shake my head slowly, my eyes never leaving his. “No.” My voice is barely audible. “I didn’t know that, either.”
    Confusion flashes across Josh’s face. “Okay, now I’m lost.”
    I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve just let him hate me. Now he’s expecting an explanation, and I can’t give him one. He’ll think I’m crazy if I try.
    I look away. A man in a stiff flannel shirt and work pants is listening to a football game on his front porch, smoking a cigarette. Somebody’s grandfather. I suddenly miss mine. I haven’t seen him since last Christmas, three days after I found out I’d booked the movie. He was so proud. “Gonna be a star,” he told me, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. I laughed when he said it, but he hadn’t meant it as a joke.
    “Abby.” Josh’s voice cuts through the silence.
    “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I reply, my voice small. I watch as the old man puts out his cigarette and lights another one.
    “Try me.”
    Tell him.
    I turn my head, meeting Josh’s gaze. Something in his eyes makes me think he might get it. But what if he doesn’t? What if he thinks I’m crazy, or worse, making it up?
    “Just tell me the truth,” he says softly. “That’s all I want.”
    I take a breath and exhale slowly. The truth.
    “Something happened on my eighteenth birthday,” I begin, because it feels like the right place to start. “Something I still don’t completely understand. It has to do with the earthquake last year.”
    “Your unfortunate twist of fate,” Josh says. His eyes dance a little, remembering the words he thinks I spoke. “The day we met.”
    “Yes. Only . . .” I take another breath. “It wasn’t me you remember meeting that day.”
    “It wasn’t you,” Josh repeats. He looks at me for a moment, then shakes his head, getting angry again. “What, you’re going to tell me you weren’t yourself that day? That the girl I fell in love with isn’t who you really are? That’s bullcrap, Abby.” His voices rises but stays steady. “Don’t tell me I don’t know you. I know you, and you know me.”
    “That’s not what I’m saying,” I reply, feeling my own voice shake. “I’m saying that the girl you remember meeting literally wasn’t me.”
    Josh stops walking. “What?”
    I force myself to keep talking. “Do you remember Dr.