Parallel

wearing concealer now, just like she did that morning, which she must’ve borrowed from her mom because Caitlin doesn’t own any. There’s a dot of skin-colored goo stuck to the inside corner of her left eye. “Abby.”
    For a split second, I consider saying yes. Yes, that’s all I said. Omitting the rest of it, the worst of it. Feigning ignorance and innocence. No, Caitlin, I have no idea why Tyler would’ve told you he loved you in front of two hundred people. I was as surprised as you were. I know Tyler would back me up, because that’s the kind of friend he is. What kind of friend am I?
    “I told him you liked him,” I say quietly.
    Caitlin doesn’t react, as if what I’ve said didn’t compute. “What?” she says evenly.
    “I told him you had feelings for him but didn’t want him to know.” I close my eyes as I’m saying it, bracing for her reaction. There isn’t one. When I open my eyes, Caitlin is walking away.
    “Caitlin!” She ignores me. “Caitlin!” I yell, no longer caring who hears me (which is good, since everyone can). “Can I just explain—”
    Caitlin spins on her heels. “Explain what?” she shouts. Her eyes are blue icicles. “How mind-blowingly self-absorbed you are? How it’s all about Abby, all the time?”
    “So she doesn’t like me?” Tyler asks, sounding about as confused as I feel. Caitlin thinks I’m self-absorbed?
    “This didn’t have anything to do with me,” I protest. “I just thought—” She doesn’t let me finish.
    “God, Abby, you’re such a cliché,” Caitlin spits. “ Ohmigod! ” She lifts her voice, mocking me. “ Do you think Astronomy Boy likes me? Ohmigod, I can’t run cross-country anymore! Ohmigod, what about my precious Plan!” Behind me, someone giggles. “God forbid some stupid detail doesn’t turn out exactly the way you planned it. How would you ever recover?” Her words drip with sarcasm and disdain. “You want to know why Josh wasn’t interested in you?” Caitlin asks coldly, her voice authoritative, like she knows something I don’t. “It’s not a big mystery, Abby. You’re just too self-involved to see it.” She looks me in the eye then, her gaze like steel. “You’re more work than you’re worth.”
    Something in me snaps.
    “Ohhhh. So we’re talking about who’s easier ?” I fire back. “I guess you win then.”
    “Excuse me?”
    I raise my voice and address our audience. “You’d think that amazing brain of yours might’ve picked up on the fact that he was married,” I say derisively. The cheerleaders look at one another with arched eyebrows, wondering what I mean, but of course Caitlin and I are the only ones who know about Craig. The thing she’s most ashamed of. Her greatest regret. “But I guess you just couldn’t be bothered to worry about that stupid detail?”
    Caitlin’s mouth drops.
    It’s as if the room expands in that moment, like the surface of Dr. Mann’s red balloon. My stomach clenches and unclenches like a fist.
    What did I just do?
    “You’re a bitch,” Caitlin says, her voice hollow. “A self-absorbed bitch.” She doesn’t spin on her heels the way I would. She simply turns and walks out of the cafeteria. Tyler steps down off the table and follows her out. Heads turn, watching them go, then the attention snaps back to me. It occurs to me that I should do something—blink, sit down, leave the lunchroom—but the effort of those actions feels overwhelming. I can’t move.
    The bell rings and the gawkers disperse. Efrain appears in front of me, holding my bag. “C’mon,” he says, his voice startling me out of my stupor. “I’ll walk you to class.” I nod weakly and follow him out.
    Efrain steers me to my classroom and leaves me at the door. “Good luck on your midterm,” he says, holding out my bag. I choke on a laugh. I’m supposed to take an astronomy test right now? Poor Efrain just stands there, not sure what to do. There are flecks of dried hair gel on his ear.
    The warning bell rings.
    “Hey, guys.” Josh is walking up, pencil tucked behind his ear as always. When he sees the look on my face, his smile fades. “What’s going on?”
    “Caitlin and Abby just had a blowout in the cafeteria,” Efrain explains, keeping his voice low. “I gotta go,” he tells us. “I can’t be late for bio.” He hands Josh my bag, pats me awkwardly on the shoulder, then takes off down the hall.
    “We should probably get in there,” Josh says. His voice sounds