Picture Perfect

fall around me as a light began to shine on something that she did that I’d glossed over. Tess never discussed our future beyond the tour, ever. How had I not noticed that before? Now that I was thinking about it, she never really talked about how our relationship would be once the tour started.
    Every second I spent with Tessa told me that I was in deep. It felt right and I was all in, but now I wasn’t positive that she was. Was it that she just wasn’t in the same place that I was, or did she just not want a future with me?
    I was freaking the fuck out. If she wasn’t in this with me, I was fucked. The idea that she didn’t feel the same way I did made me sick to my stomach. Letting out a frustrated breath I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to calm myself down.
    It didn’t work.
    “What the hell do you mean who knows where we’ll be when the tour ends? Are you saying you don’t see us together? Why the fuck would you say that Tess? Are you not happy? Am I doing something wrong? You haven’t said that you’re unhappy so I didn’t know… I’m new to all of this, and clearly I’m fucking it all up somehow if you already think we won’t be together months from now. I’ll do whatever it takes baby, but I’m not a mind reader. Talk to me.”
    She looked deeply uncomfortable with the way the discussion was going and that made me feel like shit. My thought process was a complete blur of random thoughts and worst-case scenarios. Was this just a transitional relationship for her? Was a long-term commitment not what she wanted? Did she want to break up with me?
    It felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart when it occurred to me that she might feel like she had to stay with me in order to keep her job and the thought made me ill.
    “Oh, my God, Tess… you don’t think that if you break up with me that you’ll lose your job, do you? Is that why you haven’t told me that you’re unhappy?”
    Every ounce of color in her face drained away as she shook her head at me. “No! Flynn, Jesus, NO. That’s not what I’m saying. Please, don’t ever think that. I’m not unhappy right now at all. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m just saying that we’re new to this and the future is unwritten. It’s too soon to start talking about neighborhoods and houses. If we’re still together at the end of the tour, we can talk about it then, if you still want to. No pressure between now and then, we’ll just see how this plays out. Let’s just wait and see, okay?”
    No. It was definitely not okay. Now I knew that she wasn’t in this with me, not really. I saw Tessa as my entire future, but to her I was just a chapter in her life story, a bit of filler that would fade away to nothing.
    I wasn’t about to become some kind of stalker asshole, so I just nodded and agreed with her. “Sure Tessa, that’s okay. We’ll just wait… and see.”
    Mentally I was kicking my own ass for being so fucking stupid that I’d rolled out the red carpet for her and invited her into every aspect of my life when the truth was that she didn’t want us to be anything significant.
    I should have been more cautious, should have guarded my heart. The damage was done at this point though, and all I could do was find a way not to feel like I had been ripped open and torn apart.

Chapter Thirty-Six

    I’d been excited about going to Delilah and Brooke’s wedding when the invitation had been extended, but now I was miserable. Flynn had been working like a maniac for days and I’d barely seen him. He left early, he came home late, and he hadn’t touched me at all- even when we were sleeping. He slept on one side and I slept on the other, and it felt like the Grand Canyon was between us. We’d gone from having sex at least two or three times a day to not touching at all. I’d had my period for a few days and had planned to tell him that I was out of commission, but since he never spoke to or touched me, I never needed to.
    Last Friday, he made an excuse about needing to do something with the record company that he and the band had formed in order to get out of having to spend the afternoon with me taking his photo.
    I knew, of course I knew , that he was pissed at me about my reticence to be enthusiastic about his home building plan, but really… how could I be? It would be beyond careless of me emotionally to allow myself to believe that our future was assured when the facts were that it